𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝 𝔽𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝔻𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕥 𝔽𝕠𝕦𝕣

25- Life in 13

I woke up the next day and decided to explore the area with Finnick. I asked a guard if they had seen my brother and they told me that Peeta had been locked up because he had attacked Katniss. I was taken aback for a moment before asking if I could see him. Finnick asked me if I was sure and I nodded my head. The guard sighed before leading Finnick and I to a room that seemed to be a control room with another room looking into where Peeta was, sure enough restrained. I said that I was going to go in and for Finnick to wait for me outside. He nodded and I opened the door and walked inside. Peeta looked up at me appearing to be stunned. I took in his beaten appearance before hesitantly speaking

"Hey Peeta, you okay? I heard you attacked Katniss, what happened?"

"No no no. This can't be, I mean you DIED, Katniss shot you with her arrow. You died right in front of me Casey."

"Hey, it's okay Peeta, I assure you I'm alive, we're in district 13 now, you're safe and so am I. I assure you Katniss didn't do anything to harm me, Her and Finnick were the ones that wanted us to be rescued in the first place after all so Katniss wouldn't want to do anything to harm you or me, okay?" 

"No Casey you don't get it, Okay? Even if none of that was real she's still a mutt that the capitol made, SHE'S A FUCKING MUTT CASEY! SHE NEVER CARED ABOUT ANYONE! SHE ISN'T ON OUR SIDE SHE JUST WANTS TO KILL US, OKAY? WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND? SHE CAUSED ALL OF THIS!" 

I slowly backed away as he began thrashing around and began yelling incoherently. I numbly backed further away from him and closer to the door when it opened I turned around to see Finnick as well as some guards come in. Finnick took my hand and whispered something to me as I continued looking back at my brother as guards circled around him trying to restrain him. Finnick wrapped his other arm around my back and gently ushered me out of the room before closing it, Peeta's yells becoming muffled. Finnick asked if I was okay and I nodded before telling him that I just needed to process what Peeta had said. I knew from what I had experienced back in the Capitol that Peeta had most likely gone through the same thing I had gone through to an extent but I wasn't sure what the Capitol's goals were. Did they do it so that they could somehow turn Peeta against Katniss? Is that why they let us escape so easily? "Did they plan for this to happen in hopes that Peeta would kill Katniss? Were they intending to do the same with me and Finnick in hopes that I would kill him and in turn the people at 13 would kill us and the remaining Victors would all be killed off like they had intended for the 75th games?" My thoughts then began to go back to what I had seen while I was in the Capitol and all of it came crashing back to me like a huge tidal wave filling me with a sense of dread. I was pulled from my thoughts as Finnick's voice broke through them slightly; as if I was underwater and he was talking to me from above.  I looked at him and read his lips realizing that he kept asking me what was wrong and calling my name over and over trying to get my attention. I snapped out of my daze completely quickly noticing that I had been hyperventilating. Looking around the room I noticed that we were back in our quarters, sitting on the bed, my eyes then settled back to Finnick, meeting his worried gaze. I blinked a bit before asking what happened and Finnick let out a sigh of relief and said that it was like I had been completely frozen and unresponsive and my eyes wouldn't blink or close, all I was doing was hyperventilating and it was if I wasn't able to hear him because no matter what he said I wouldn't respond so he carried me back to our room in hopes of a bit of privacy. I nodded a bit before looking back down. Finnick lightly took my cheek in his hand before tilting my face up to look at him before he asked what was wrong. I took a deep breath before speaking.

"I.. I don't really know how to explain other than the memories.. or I guess false memories from the Capitol came back and I got to thinking about why the Capitol would have tried brainwashing Peeta and I and the only plausible thing I can think of is that they wanted Peeta to kill Katniss. A-a-and I don't know i-if they tried to do the same with me but it wasn't working on me so they tried to make it seem like you had died o-or what but I feel like that's what they were trying to do and it makes sense in Peeta's case considering he attacked Katniss for no reason and said that she's a mutt and that she's going to kill us. All I know is that they tried to do something and I think it worked on Peeta but I don't know what exactly they were trying to do with me. " I paused a bit before speaking again. "I... I don't know, I used to feel so powerful,         a-and like no matter what happened I would be able to continue to be able to stay strong and unbreakable, like the Casey you knew me as. Now... now I just feel fucking broken, and like I'm not even close to how I used to be..." I looked back down at my hands as I broke down once again. Finnick pulled me gently into a hug and ran one hand through my hair as the other calmingly rubbed circles on my back before he spoke.

"Casey... I can't imagine what you went through while you were in the Capitol, but I do know this. Whatever they had intended for you with the brainwashing didn't work. If it had you'd be like Peeta which goes to show that you were able to fight off whatever they were trying to do to you, even if you didn't know you were, and if that doesn't show that you're strong I don't know what does. And even if you aren't the same as you were before, even if you are broken, I'll do my best to fix you. I'm with you no matter what this shitty world throws at us and I don't care what gets in our way I will always be here. You don't have to go through this alone, not now or ever. I don't care if I end up having to stay up all night with you to keep the nightmares at bay, you've done the same for me a million times over. I don't care if I need to bring you back every time your thought pull you back into that dark place. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

I looked up to meet Finnick's eyes before softly placing a kiss on his lips. Eventually we pulled away and I whispered that I loved him and he said he loved me too. We ended up staying like that for a while until it was supper time. We went and ate, making small talk with the people around us before heading back to our living quarters. We fell onto the bed and laid in each other's arms in silence until lights out was called and I drifted off into sleep after kissing Finnick goodnight.