Chapter Four
Ana awoke to a thumping headache and once more, in a strange bed. This morning she opened a spare toothbrush, needing to scrub the ashy taste from her mouth. As she bent to the faucet, intending to clamp her mouth around the tap to drink (yeah, she was real classy this morning) she realised she still had Tom’s suit jacket on, and her dress from last night.
Was there anything worse than doing the walk of shame when you hadn’t even had fun the night before?
And with that thought, came the memories of last night, the memories of what she was willing to do.
She turned away from the mirror before she could look at her own reflection, she had a feeling that she was so ashamed she couldn’t meet her own gaze, but her head hurt too much for her to dare try and test that theory.
As she entered the kitchen, Tom simply observed her for a moment, then got up and went to the coffee machine. She sat down at the table and moments later, Tom placed a coffee in front of her, along with two tablets.
“Just ibuprofen,” he assured her as he sat opposite.
She sipped her coffee in silence, feeling rather numb.
“I’ll drive you home when you’re ready,” Tom assured her.
She considered saying that she’d catch a cab but she couldn’t find the energy to argue.
She took the pills then continued to sip her coffee in silence.
“Are you okay?” Tom finally asked.
Ana shrugged in reply.
“Talk to me,” he urged and she finally looked into his eyes.
“I feel numb, to be honest.”
“Numb is good. Normal. You’ll probably experience a range of emotions over the next few weeks, sometimes slipping between extremes at the drop of a hat. You’ll feel like you’re going crazy, but that’s normal.”
“I nearly killed a man last night, Tom, that is not normal.”
“An evil man,” he reminded her. “You did what had to be done and the world would be a better place without him.”
She glared at him. “This isn’t about him, it’s about me.”
Tom flashed her a wolfish smile. “Oh yes, I know, darling. Last night, you discovered exactly how ruthless you can be, and that doesn’t quite match with the self-image you used to have, does it? Don’t worry, you’ll adjust to this new reality soon enough and believe it or not, be happy.”
“How?” Ana demanded, her earlier lethargy giving way to anger. “You say that like it’s nothing! He might have been evil but he was human, and human life has value, for fuck’s sake! I don’t even believe in the death penalty!”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Human life has no inherent value. Society creates a veil of civility, filling our heads with quaint notions of life being precious, but it’s anything but. Given your career, you of all people, should know that. Anyone, at any time, can take our lives from us, often for no greater purpose than because they’d had too much to drink and picked a fight, or because they enjoy other’s pain and it helps them get their rocks off, or because they want to steal your iPhone. If that’s not enough, life is so fragile that a simple accident can steal it from us at a moment’s notice. Natural disasters, animal attacks, illness… Do you have any idea how many people die each year, just slipping on ice? Life is short and it’s hard and only the fittest survive. You just joined the ranks of the predators, darling. Congratulations,” he gave her a cold smile.
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His Realm
Fanfiction[Jaguar!Tom] As a partner in one of the biggest international crime syndicates, Tom Hiddleston is at the top of his game, but his perfectly ordered life is threatened when an ex comes calling, needing his help. She is the only woman he’s ever loved...
