im sorry

every time I see the pain in your eyes,

A little part of my heart dies.
No matter how hard and how often you try,
All I seem to do is make you cry.

You risk so much and take such chance
To share your heart and your romance.
You share your hopes and dreams and fears
And let me in to all that's dear.

All I seem to do is be mean and cold,
To fail to cherish, fail to hold.
I seem to fail to put you first.
You act your best; I am my worst.

My mouth contradicts my heart.
My actions and thoughts so far apart.
I love you with every part of me,
Yet act so cruel and thoughtlessly.

I dream of you all night and day
And hang on every word you say,
Yet all you see is selfishness and arrogance,
Casual disdain and ignorance.

Assumption and judgment and everything's a test.
No matter what you do, you're always second best.
No matter how hard you try, it's never enough.
I never hear your protestations of love.

I say I love you and cherish all of our dreams,
Yet act as if I can't hear your screams
Of need and want and stability and trust.
My plans never materialize, my promises rust.

I scream at myself at how stupid I am
For risking your love, for risking your hand,
And I pray every day that you never see
That I need you more than you need me.

I bare my heart and my soul to you
To say sorry for what I did and for what I do.
I have no excuses and hide no more.
All I can offer is my love for evermore.