What the heart wants

Chapter 55

Nayeon stirs from her sleep when the doorbell rings. She wishes she could sleep through this day so she can pretend it never happened. The doorbell rings again and she knows there's only so much denial one can live in and she can't escape the reality forever.

She peels Momo away from her gently and goes to open the door.

"Okachan." A warm face greets her.

"Nayeon-tan." The woman pulls her into an affectionate hug.

Nayeon stays in the hug for a while longer. Wanting to feel anything other than the numbness in her heart.

When the older woman pulls back from the hug, she's startled by the pained eyes staring back at her. Those eyes that are usually full of life have frozen over like the surface of an icy lake in winter, devoid of the usual warmth she sees in them, like the younger girl has taken a huge step back from life and now only remains of the person she used to be exists.

She wants to reach for her and tell her life isn't hopeless but she knows she won't believe her. The motherly part of her wants to reassure her everything is going to be okay because she always knew behind the playful exterior there was a lot of pain and agony, but now it's visible on her face and she doesn't know how to make it go away.

The clock strikes five shaking them both out of their reverie.

"Mina is still sleeping." Nayeon's voice comes out in a thick hoarse. "Do you want me to wake her?"

She shakes her head in negative. "How about I make some hot chocolate for you and let her sleep in for a while?"

She has no appetite but turns out she can never say no to the Myoui women as she finds herself nodding her head in a silent yes.

She barely takes a sip from the mug when they both hear a sleepy voice from the bedroom door. "Mama?"

"Minari." She extends her hand towards her beloved daughter.

Nayeon leaves her mug in the sink and tells the women she's going to take a shower. Their eyes follow her with worried glances.

Mina packs the last of her things while her mother makes lunch with the other girls. She hears faint chatter coming from the living room, none of the voices belong to the person she is going to miss terribly.

She turns to her left and see the wild flower. It looks limp and dry, like it's hanging on to the last shred of sentience. She takes it out from the vase and lays a soft kiss on it as if to bring it back to life. It's dead, just like her.

Sana finds Nayeon in her bedroom, away from the conversation, drowning in her thoughts.

"The cab is going to arrive soon."

Nayeon smiles at her, the kind of smile someone throws when they have no hope left. Like they're giving up on life and accepting their fate for what it is.

"I'll be there." She says but doesn't move from her spot. She burries her face in her hands and squeezes her eyes shut and Sana's heart ache for her.

Chaeyoung helps Mina and her mother carry their luggage to the waiting cab.

Momo stares at Mina's empty room. A hundred questions rattle inside her as she wonders if there is any way she can go back in time and prevent this from happening.

Dahyun lays a comforting hand on her shoulder and they walk to the lift holding each other, trying to draw strength from their friendship to get through this.

Mina tries not to cry, she doesn't have anymore strength left in her to face another onslaught of tears.

She hugs Momo first. "Don't worry about me. I'm going to be okay."

Momo nods through her tears.

Dahyun leaves a kiss on Mina's head who smiles sadly at her.

"Do you have to go?" Tzuyu shows a rare display of emotion, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Mina nods her head as she helps her mother into the cab. She turns to Tzuyu and takes her in for a hug.

"We're sorry." Mina dismisses Chaeyoung and Jeongyeon's apology with a 'don't be. You have nothing to do with this. Make each other happy.'

Jihyo doesn't say anything but holds Mina tightly for a long time, reluctant to let go.

When she sees Mina look behind her shoulders, she breathes out, "She's in her room. You know she hates goodbyes."

Nayeon might hate it, but Mina wants to see her face one last time before the cab drives her to a destination that's going to take her a thousand miles away from them.

"Mama."

"Yes darling?"

"Give me five minutes." She asks, and the older woman nods in understanding.

"Take all the time you need."