What the heart wants

Chapter 52

Sana wakes up startled and finds the spot next to her on the bed empty. A panic seizes her heart as she throws her feet on the floor and rushes to the living room. She lets out a sigh of relief when she sees Mina spread out on the couch, her eyes fluttered shut. On the other end of the couch, Nayeon is sleeping upright, a comforting hand lingering on the younger girl's ankle.

A quick glance at the clock in the living room shows it's six in the morning. They have a shoot in a few hours and Sana decides to make the girls breakfast as all of them have skipped dinner.

Nayeon stirs from her sleep when she hears the sound of pans making soft clanging noise.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Sana's tone is apologetic.

"No." Nayeon dismisses her concern as she goes around the counter to help her with the breakfast.

"I'll handle this. You should sleep some more." Sana strokes her arms up and down.

Nayeon shrugs. "It's fine. I need to occupy myself with something."

Sana understands the need for distraction. They make breakfast side by side in companionable silence.

After making breakfast, she tells Nayeon that her bandage needs to be changed. Her heart aches a little when she sees the older girl not even flinching when she peels away the sticky tape from her bruised skin, almost as if she's used to pain.

Momo tries to crack a joke here and there, because she finds the odd silence in the van extremely unsettling. Nayeon forces a smile every now and then for her benefit, but Momo wants to cry at how empty and blank her gaze is. Like she's just a shell of the person she used to be.

Sana holds Mina in her arms who's staring out the window.

Chaeyoung doesn't sit next to Jeongyeon because she doesn't want to make Mina uncomfortable. She sometimes catches Jeongyeon's eyes and gives her a reassuring, affectionate smile to show nothing has changed between them.

Jihyo, Tzuyu and Dahyun don't say much but their gaze full of concern and worry often flickers between Nayeon and Mina.

In front of the camera, they put on their professional faces and pretend to be their usual cheerful selves.

Mina finds it hard to pretend. She has to will herself not to cry when they are asked on the show to perform for What is love.

The last thing she needs is another public breakdown and the gossips that would hound her after.

Nayeon's watchful eyes doesn't miss a thing. Every time she thinks there are no more tears left in her, all she has to do is see Mina's beautiful face pained with utter despair and anguish and her eyes moisten. She has to blink rapidly to push back the unshed tears.

"Mina, you'll have to eat something." Jihyo tries weakly as she takes the spoon to her lips which refuses to open. She knows how the girl struggled to pull herself together during the shoot and she hates there's nothing she can do to help her out of this misery that seems never ending.

"Nayeon and Mina haven't eaten the whole day." Momo cries into Tzuyu's shoulder. Tzuyu doesn't know what to say to comfort the emotional girl so she holds her and strokes her back soothingly.

Chaeyoung sits between Jeongyeon and Dahyun as they try to have their dinner. Each morsel of food passes through their throat painfully. They leave their dinner barely touched.

Sana changes the bandage once again the next morning and tries to persuade Nayeon to have breakfast. "If you have it, Mina might be convinced too."

Nayeon forces the breakfast through the lump in her throat, afraid it's going to come right back up but she continues to eat it because Mina is sitting across her, her eyes often lingering on Nayeon.

Nayeon lets out a soft sigh when she sees the younger girl take a small bite of her toast. She feels a small glimmer of hope in the darkness that surrounds her.

The faint glimmer of hope gets shredded into pieces and stomped upon when she hears Mina on the phone late at night.

"Mama." The younger girl sobs. "I want to come home."