Florence
“I’m sorry,” the words were uttered as soon as I reentered the living room, and not by me.
Kyle still lay on the couch, with his hands locked in his wild hair, eyes apologetic. “A lot has happened, and we need to talk first more than anything. I’m sorry for running away and leaving you alone, for all of the attacks I committed, for making you drop your life to come and find me, and for what I did to you and your friend in Yellowstone. I can’t say how grateful I am that you found me.”
I gave him a warm smile and threw an old pair of Steven’s shorts at him. I’d found them in the spare bedroom upstairs before returning, and Kyle slipped them on silently. I averted my eyes.
“It’s okay, I can’t imagine the pain you were going through both physically and mentally, and I know it’s not an excuse but I forgive you. I’m just glad you’re okay.” I took a seat next to him on the couch, trying to ignore the tension between us. It would take some time before we could be completely comfortable around each other once more.
Before Kyle could respond, the door clicked open and a weary Steven walked through, bringing with him the tantalizing smells of a cooked breakfast, before he shut the door behind him. Kyle rose at once and the two embraced, Steven with tears in his eyes and Kyle wrapping his arms comfortingly around his friend’s shoulders.
“It’s good to see you again, Steven.”
“I’m just glad you’re in human form,” Steven laughed nervously, the stress from the previous weeks easing off of his shoulders.
“Me too,” Kyle answered, and the two stepped back from each other. With one simple embrace, the two looked as if nothing had ever changed within the last few weeks. Everything was as it should be.
“Let’s get breakfast, shall we?” At Steven’s suggestion, we shuffled out of the room and into the kitchen, where we met Tobias and David, the former still frying bacon and eggs on the stovetop, and the latter enthusiastically engulfing them at the table. They both turned at our entrance, and appraised Kyle in his human form for the first time.
Tobias looked weary, and introduced himself before returning to his cooking. David took a friendlier approach and insisted on shaking hands with Kyle, joking that it was great to finally “meet the man” rather than the animal. Steven handed out plates and dished bacon, eggs, toast and pancakes onto them, and I watched Kyle with a close eye, trying to see how he was reacting to the situation.
To my surprise, he seemed to be handling everything just fine, and had no problem meeting Steven’s friends. In fact, he was so at home that he made small talk with David while tucking into numerous helpings of breakfast. Steven explained that his body needed energy after the tranquilization and recovery process.
I finally allowed myself to relax and enjoy the moment, without the stress and worry I’d been carrying around on my shoulders for the last month or so. We’d succeeded, with a few casualties along the way.
~
It had been a few days since Kyle had ‘woken up’, and since then we’d made sure he was confined to the house and yard. Steven and I still weren’t sure if he was ready to be a part of any community yet – if he was safe being around others. He’d made progress with Tobias and David, and had them both at ease and chatting around him – a welcome surprise regarding the normally shy and reserved Tobias. Apart from a few bruises and cuts from settling back into his human form, Kyle seemed acclimatized to the new environment. He still hadn’t shifted yet, for fear of losing control or being unable to shift back, but that was a challenge for another day.
It was the middle of the night on the third day, and I couldn’t sleep. My ears were tuned to hear the tiniest of noises from the garden outside – cicadas chirping, leaves rustling in the meager breeze, the scuttling movements of small woodland animals within the vicinity – and inside, I could hear every steady heartbeat of the house’s occupants. Steven slept like a rock, with a steady beat, as did David, while Tobias tossed in his bed, and his heart rate sped up as he endured a nightmare. Kyle was given the spare room down the hall from me, and I could hear his steady breathing and pulse, tantalizingly close. Part of me wanted to go and see him, to stay up all night and talk about the past, the future, among other things, while the more sensible part of me kept me rooted in place in my own room. It was in this state of frustration and keen awareness that I heard a wolf howl – not too far away, probably within the surrounding reserve –, a sound that had my heart rate elevating within moments.
With impatience I threw off the untangled bed sheets and flung open the door, quietly but hurriedly descending the stairs and unlocking the porch door. My clothes scattered behind me like debris after a tornado, and I entered the forest already in wolf form. The howl replayed in my mind, sorrowful, urging me to run faster, to join the wolf among the wilderness.
Deep down, I had suspicions that it was Erik. Perhaps he had returned from Yellowstone in one piece and wanted to reunite, or he was injured and needed help, I didn’t know. It had been a while since I’d heard his last howl, and the call sounded like I remembered his. I dug my paws into the dirt and raced through the deserted woods, hoping to pinpoint where the howl originated.
My muzzle was agape from running, and I bayed in response to the howl, searching for Erik, urging him to find me. He was so close I could feel it.
My coat was riddled with dirt and broken branches in my haste to find the wolf, and frustration and desperation leaked into my thoughts and actions as time passed, and I remained alone. Where was he? Why wasn’t he coming to me? If I could just find him…
In hindsight, I had known from the start that it wasn’t Erik. The howl didn’t feel right, it wasn’t familiar. Those thoughts had been pushed too the back of my mind when I’d raced out the door without looking back, and they only resurfaced now, when I was reaching the end of my tether. I felt tired, weak, and disappointed that I’d allowed myself to be so deluded and easily persuaded. I’d missed him so much that I was willing to believe anything to have him safe and well.
The hours passed, and I had reduced my pace to a steady jog, scouring the reserve for any trace of Erik, or any trace of a wolf. My desperate calls were somewhat answered in the late morning, just before the sun rose and bathed the town in dawn. The heavy scent of a wolf lingered around a cluster of rocks and bushes towards the north of the town, and it lead directly away, but it was old, and fading quickly. To my disappointment, it wasn’t Erik, and the tracks were indicative of a much smaller, regular wild wolf.
With the final blow dealt, I turned and began my journey home, at a much slower pace. Within metres however, I was aware that I was not alone.
Kyle trotted out of cover and approached me, his muzzle touching mine as he licked my snout to show reassurance. He could understand my disappointment and longing for a lost friend, and recognized that I needed company. For that I was grateful.
I shifted reluctantly, and collapsed to the forest floor with a fatigue that was partly physical and partly emotional. I heard the snapping and clicking of bones beside me as Kyle slipped back into human form as well, and felt the warm arms encircle me. No words were spoken, save for the hushed comforting reassurances that he murmured to me while I wept, the tears rolling slowly at first, and then gathering pace and multitude.
Dawn broke around us some time later, when my tears had dried and my body had stopped shaking. Kyle stood and helped me up, and we both shifted without words and made our way back to the house.
When we were safely inside and changed, I collapsed onto the couch in the living room, taking care to be quiet so that the others didn’t wake. Kyle joined me, pulling a rug over the both of us, and letting me lean on his chest. He felt warm, and safe.
“I want to go home,” I told him, craning my neck to see his reaction. He looked cool and composed.
His eyes flickered to mine, and a smile flashed on his lips. “I know, so do I.”
