Loving Is Hard

Chapter - 4

And how do you wake up from a nightmare. . .
When you aren't even asleep?

-

"Mom, I've told you... I have already applied for that college." Sean cried out sitting on one of the kitchen stools, annoyed at his mother for recommending him different colleges to apply for. "Well okay then." Mrs. Harris walked up to Sean and started to massage his shoulder "Honey everything is going to be fine. I know you'll get the admission. You should believe in yourself." Sean's mom said to calm him down. Sean placed his hand on his mother's "I hope so." He said giving his mother a slight smile.

"Sean, I think you should talk to Rachel." Mrs. Harris said standing at Sean's back. "Mom, what is wrong with you? Can't you see I'm already stressed over college?" Sean paused, trying to suppress the anger growing with in him "...and why can't you guys support me on this? I mean, I'm your son, not her!" Sean slightly raised his voice this time. "Sean, I know you and I know you're just stressed out over your college admission... It's nothing else. Why don't you give her a call? I know she'll understand this." Sean's mom said moving away from him. She knew her son was just overreacting. She knew, making the worst decisions, and then regretting them was his habit. "I know you regret this decision of yours. I can see it in you." She said taking out the bread from the toaster.

Sean got up from the chair in rage "For God's sake mom! I don't regret anything. I know I made the right decision. And I'm not talking to Rachel!" Sean shouted. He grabbed the car keys lying on the table. "Sean at least eat your-" Sean's mother called after him as he dashed out of the front door.
_

Rachel got up from her disrupted sleep. She laid there in her bed. Most of her night was spent tossing and turning on the bed. She stared at the ceiling of her room and kept on replaying the last conversation with Sean in her mind. She turned to the side and a tear silently escaped her eye. She squeezed her eyes, pressing her lips between her teeth trying not to cry out loud.

For Rachel, waking up was meaningless now. The person who pushed her through the tough times, who made her laugh no matter how bad her mood was... Was now the reason of these continuous tears. When a person you're madly in love with leaves you, you feel incomplete. There is a void left behind that keeps on getting bigger and bigger.

Rachel continued to sob silently in her bed. She flinched at the sudden opening of her bedroom door. She quickly wiped the tears and turned to see Abby walking towards her. "You lazy ass! I've been calling you. You could've answered one of my thousand calls!" She said pulling off the covers from Rachel. "Ughh Abb I'm not in the mood." Rachel cried out. "Come on, hurry up! Noah is waiting in the car downstairs. We're going out for brunch." She ordered pulling Rachel up from the bed. "But why? I'm not feeling well." Rachel said in a low voice. "Well if you would've picked up the call... You wouldn't have been this much oblivious of our arrival!" Abby scoffed pushing Rachel into the bathroom. "But I- " Rachel tried to protest but Abby didn't let her complete her sentence "No buts! You have five minutes. I'll be in the car with Noah." Abby said before moving out of Rachel's room.

Rachel unwillingly changed her pajamas. She pulled over her light blue skinny jeans which hugged her shapely legs perfectly and for the top, she threw on a black, full sleeve shirt. Tieing her hair in a loose ponytail she started at face in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy from all the crying and she seemed quite weak. She decided to put on light make up to conceal her bruises. The bruises that would never show up yet also never fade away. 

Rachel joined her two friends in Noah's car that was parked right in front of her house. They went to their all-time spot, one of their favorite cafes "Greet with treats" . During the car drive, thankfully, Rachel didn't have to speak much as Abby and Noah were busy jamming to their favourite songs. As soon as they got out of the car, Noah turned to Rachel. Shaking her from her shoulders. "Wake up!" Well it wasn't Rachel's fault that she was caught up in her thoughts.

As they walked up the stairs that led to the main door of the cafe, Rachel spotted Sean's car outside. Her heart stopped beating instantly causing her to stop in her track. "Rachel? Come on..." Noah said holding the door for the girls.

It was too late for Rachel to back out now Why isn't destiny on my side? She thought as they entered the cafe. Rachel kept her eyes glued at the floor as if all the solutions to her problems were written there. Rachel had her fingers crossed that Abby and Noah won't bump into Sean over here.

Rachel spotted an empty table in the corner of the cafe "Guys, there... Let's sit there." She pointed towards the table. The girls had just taken a step towards the table that Noah called out "Oh hey, Sean!" Rachel's breath hitched upon hearing Sean's name. "What's up? Don't mind if we join in." Noah said pulling out a chair on Sean's table.

Sean's eyes immediately landed on  Rachel and couldn't move an inch away from her. Rachel raised her head and as soon as her eyes met with Sean's they started to sting. She quickly looked away not wanting to revive the pain he has caused.  She grabbed Abby's hand, stopping her from moving towards Sean's table "Abby I-I need to a- use to the washroom." She said looking into Abby's eyes trying to tell her that she want comfortable over here. Abby instantly sensed that something was off with Rachel today.  "Okay, Do you want me to come with you?" Abby held Rachel from her shoulders. Rachel could feel Sean's eyes fixed on them, probably curious to know what they are talking about."No, I -um... You go sit with them. I'll be right back." Rachel spat out in nervousness.

Rachel rushed to the bathroom and shut down the door behind her. The tears forming in her eyes finally got the chance to flow. Sean's face couldn't get out of her mind. Sean's intense gaze enhanced the pain Rachel was going through. It seemed as if the oxygen wasn't enough for Rachel to breathe calmly. She looked down at her hand that shivered because of the weakness.

Abby joined the boys and they made their order. Sean was anxious the entire time. Beads of sweat could be Sean on his forehead. He kept on looking towards the washroom like he had something to say to Rachel. "Did you guys fight?" Abby asked noticing Sean "Umm... " Sean straightened in his seat "So she didn't tell you guys?" Sean said stirring the straw in his drink, looking down. "Aha! I knew something was off between you two!" Abby said proudly. "It's just that. We um..." Sean was saying that Rachel walked out of the washroom. Sean's
attention immediately diverted towards Rachel. He was at a loss words seeing his ex-girlfriend.... He didn't complete his sentence.

Rachel knew she couldn't stay in this cafe anymore. Gathering all the potential she could at the moment she advanced towards the table where her friends were seated "I have to leave." Rachel quickly said eye contact with Sean. "But we've just ordered the food Rae." Abby protested. "No no... You guys eat your meal. I'll go by myself." Rachel clarified her statement. "But why Rae? We just got here?" Noah questioned her bluntly now knowing something was wrong between Rachel and Sean. "I- I don't feel like eating. I'm kind of tired so I guess I'll take some rest" Rachel miserably failed to give a solid reason for her sudden departure. "Well then, Sean has finished his food. Why don't you drop your girlfriend off?" Noah, with a smirk taking over his lips, said turning towards Sean, trying to get the two of them to patch up. "I um-" Sean was trying to come up with an excuse that Rachel decided to speak up instead "There's no need, I'll manage it on my own." Rachel informed Noah who was surprised to see how strong of a fight these two lovers have gotten into. "Okayyy... Text me when you get home then." Abby said to which Rachel nodded and walked towards the exit.

Abby's curiosity level was at it's limit now. The moment Rachel reached the front door of the cafe she turned to Sean "So, Sean you were saying... What happened this time?" Sean who was busy seeing Rachel walkout couldn't hear Abby's words "Sean! Hey" Noah snapped his fingers before Sean causing him to pull out of trance.  "Yeah?" He shifted his attention towards the other two. "Well, We wanted to know what's going on between you and Rachel," Noah answered Sean. "Guys let's make this clear for once..." He paused for a second and finally spoke up, "We broke up."

•••

Holla Amigos! I'm grateful if you're reading a story, I'm truly devoting a lot of emotions into or at least am trying to.

I'm sorry but it's true that the updates would be super slow. I want everything to at least be good if it can't be great you know?

I'd be really happy to see your patience, love and support. I hope you like these four chapters. I'd love to know your honest remarks and would appreciate it if you guys point out any errors that you might notice.

Until next time guys, Chao ~