The Sealed Kunai by Kenchi618

Break - Kyuubi's Kill List

Omake

Kyuubi's Top Twenty List of People/Things That Just Need to Die By Its Hand:

#20. Minato Namikaze: The bastard had a giant slimy toad try to hold me down and then he had the gall to seal me into his fucking son. Other than that his hair is too bright and with his special move, the Hiraishin, he was a pain in my ass. He's also such a good target to heap hate onto, the look on his face at all times just makes me want to eat him, no joke.

#19. Mito Uzumaki: My first jinchuuriki, the one that started the chain of me looking at the inside of people's heads instead of the outside world. She sealed me in herself, herself! She sealed me in herself and didn't do a half-bad job of it whatsoever. The kit knows nothing about her because I'm not his damned storybook, but if he did he would be more inspired to learn that fuuinjutsu shit. The worst part is that she never tried to even utilize any of my power, I was bored as hell in there.

#18. Glitter Cannons: These horrible contraptions are too evil, even to me. Cruel and unusual... and obnoxious.

#17. Kisame Hoshigaki: Apparently he has enough chakra to earn the nickname biju without a tail. I'll wait and see him fight my container before I believe a word of that shit. That creepy-ass sword of his eats chakra does it? Well I would love for it to eat a concentrated blast of my chakra and see how much it likes snacking on that.

#16. Soy substitutes for meat: If it looks like beef, cooks like beef, sizzles like beef, but fucking tastes like asparagus then there's a fucking problem. If I want that then I'll tell the ningen I'm sealed in to eat the leaves off of a tree. The hands down worst food that the kit has ever picked up and tried at the behest of that black-haired medic woman. Disgusting.

#15. Maito Gai: I would have him higher, but he freaks me right the fuck out and he'd probably enjoy that. There comes a time in every man's life where he has to put up the form fitting green leotard for good. That time came for Gai about seven years ago. He makes me regret making my deal with the kit, because seeing him in that shitty green suit and listening to him scream like an epileptic cheerleader about 'the power of youth' makes me want to eat him, it's an insult to the senses. The only reason I would back off from doing that if I had the chance is because I'm not entirely sure that whatever is afflicting him can be passed over to biju. I already know it's contagious, his little mini-me that he totes around is proof enough of that. With that knowledge I don't feel like risking it.

#14. Jiraiya: He's slowly getting off my shit list, but he's on here for more than a few reasons. Now the kit I'm sealed in is a pervert, I'll admit that, and I doubt he would deny it himself if you prodded him on it, but this man is one of the highest degree, so much so that it is creepy. When he met Naruto before the chunin exam he wanted him to stay in Oiroke no Jutsu form, even though he knew damn well that the kit was a boy. What the fuck?

Other than that he trained the bastard that sealed me away again, without him I wouldn't even be here right now, and he was a lesser reason that the kit had to go through four years of life as an utter moron. He's slowly dropping down the list, I did have him higher, but I am a benevolent being, therefore he's working his way off the list, but he won't be off of it anytime soon.

#13. Rock Lee: You need to be part of the solution kid, not part of the problem. Hell, even if I'd never seen or heard the kid he'd still be on the list for drinking the kool-aid that Gai heaped into his bushy-browed little head. Why not become my mini-me? I'm at least ten times better than Maito Gai!

#12. Fangirls: Enough said.

#11. Alcohol-free beer: The kit hates this stuff too. It utterly defeats the purpose of drinking in the first place, if you're not drinking to get drunk then you should just go ahead and mix yourself some lemonade and sit in a corner. 'The only thing worse than drinking a warm Schlitz tall boy is drinking a warm Schlitz tall boy and realizing that you did it for absolutely no good reason.' The kit's words, not mine.