The fallen Commander - Hanji Zoë OS

a fallen commander

The only people I've ever told something about my life before i joined the survey core are Moblit and Levi.

Not only because they are my closest friends - if you ignore Erwin and Mike - it's just not that interesting.

Especially when you know Levi's background or that Erwin's father was killed just because this young boy asked the right questions at the wrong time and place.

Anyways

Our little Village contained about ten wooden houses. We didn't have much contact to people outside the no-where surrounded by endless seeming woods where my family lived.
I liked it but even as a little child I always wanted to explore the world outside our understanding. I was the kid that would rather chase a butterfly for an hour than play well behaved with dolls or whatever.

Levi is admirable and enviable for many things but definitely not for all his loss in his lifetime. My parents didn't always support my actions but I was pretty grateful to have had parental figures at all.

Me joining the military was something they wished I would have chosen not to, because we all knew too well how dangerous it was and still is to leave these protective walls behind.

My uncle was a scout. I still remember his visits between expeditions and even more clearly the summer he did not return to us. After his death I was full of hate for this horrifying creatures. I wanted to kill them.

So I left my parents behind and became a soldier.

Friend's - probably the most important thing in my life. After titans.

Sadly most of them died over the years.

I think of the long evenings and nights. When we would drink a bit and listen to music and talk about nothing and everything. I always tried to get Levi drunk but this goal seems to be unreachable. It has to be something about the "Ackerman Superpowers" like I like to call them. Too bad that I never got the opportunity to test this on Mikasa.

No regrets - now I truly understand what he meant. I really don't regret anything. From spending endless hours on studying titans to now sacrificing myself for my friends.

The world is on fire.

I hope Levi finds a quiet and peaceful place to spend the rest of his days. He deserves that after all the pain.

I'm on fire.

And then - I finally see my old friends again. They're waiting for me on the other side.

"You did a great job." Erwin smiles brightly. "I know." Now I'm smiling too.

While still falling I close the remaining eye for the last time.

(timeskip: ca 860, some city, someone's teashop)

"Tchh." Another terrible customer. Even if they don't understand that my tea is worth the price. Why do they still feel like yelling at me would help in the slightest? Do I look like I would lower it just for them?

I sipped on my tea.

I looked at an old picture of Hanji and me taken by Onyankopon.
It's now 5 years after the war ended.

It's kind of unfair that I get to live while all my friends are dead.

I enjoy running this teashop but nothing is the same anymore. It wil never be.

~ 550 words