your lips tasted like soda candy ¡ skephalo

broken lollipops

your name always hurts me. it haunts me. living in a lie from your own actions.

but it was partially my fault as well. i chose to pretend that it didn't matter, i chose to pretend. i blame myself for not speaking out about it.

i blame myself for not being enough.

and suddenly lemon candy doesn't taste so sweet anymore.

the lemon lollipops you brought home are broken, like you have with my heart. you have hurt me.

like with strawberry drops, you broke the outer surface and spilled out my insides until i was nothing left. just a shell of who i was.

everytime i kissed you goodbye, you weren't there. you weren't the same person i loved and found. my lips brushing against yours and always tasting the wax of lipstick.

the artifical love you gave me, the artifical lipstick was a new normal to me.

instead of tasting sweetness, i found grapefruit in your teeth.

you're nothing but a liar.

but you loved me.

you loved me before her.

the words you told me weren't a lie, were they? you loved me, i'm sure of it.

before her, it was me.

it was always me. i was always the issue.

i'm so frustrated.

i can't find the reason to hate you. i can't find the feeling to hate you, i can't find why i should.

i wish i didn't love you so.

candy can taste so sweet sometimes.

eating them gets sweeter everytime, the sweetness dissolving on my tongue getting me feeling higher than the empire state building.

i wish you were here with me, zak. watching the sunrise like we did on few of our dates. the sounds of the waves is always so calming.

the sun just barely peaking. and my heart aches at the sound of you, zak.

i loved you.

i love you and sometimes i wish i didn't.

thank you for being my love, and loving me the best you could until you got tired of me.

.

the water never felt so cold.