With you, I become bold and sexy even with the imperfections in my body. You bring out the part of me I never imagined, the thing that anyone can't think of me doing. I can remember, you will kiss away every insecurities I have: stretch marks, dark spots and the fats I never want to have. But I feel perfect in any way, with you.
With you, happiness is just a spare moment. Our stress reliever. Our escape from our busy life. I can always remember the smile on my face every day I'm with you. The skip beat of my heart every time I receive a message from you. I also remember telling everyone in the office that no one can switch my mood specially when I dated you. I feel alive, I feel like I'm floating in the sky. With you.
With you, I become the person, the real person I was. The silent and the timid version of myself. The one who does not speak her mind even with the loudest cry. The person I ever wanted to forget, to vanish. But you are giving me a chance to live again, to overcome the forgotten me.
With you, I become a cheerleader. Cheering you in everything you do, in your campaign against gambling, brotherhood and charity and even with your plan in entering politics. I am always at cheer. But I am always at the back, no one can hear it out loud, that even you can't seem to notice. I can remember one time, I wanted to be part of your campaign, but you're very fast saying "no". I remember I told you that I was about to stop and watch you in your campaign, but you immediately said "don't ever do it". You always want me safe, you said.
With you, I am insecure. With the beautiful celebrities you're with, and the powerful politicians that supports you, what am I to you? The posts that shows how powerful you are, how am I at great help to you? These are the questions that are always roaming around my brain. One time I ask you if why are you with her in a cinema and you just answered that it is a business partner that told you to accompany her. I'm so jealous that you can go out or posts pictures with them, while me, I can never have my picture in your Facebook posts or even date you in a mall.
With you, I am proud. I am proud of your achievements. I'm proud that even with the success you have, you don't forget me. But at the same, I am also proud that I can accept that I will never be your priority. that I can stand being in that situation (unprioritized) since I am also too, busy to think. Proud that even when everyone is saying that I am such a fool to accept this kind of treatment from you, I can always accept and understand since these things are for your image and to those who might receive all your charity work. You help a lot of people and that's what matters for me.
With you, I feel safe and afraid at the same time. Safe that I know you can always protect me in any way you can. Afraid that with the environment you're with and the people you are associated with would harm you or might as well me. I remember you always mock me that I am afraid specially when you tell your stories about how terrible your week was and I will say it is okay. I also remember that every time we meet, you always bring with you your gun. When you post about fired arms, I already know that something is wrong. I feel safe and protected whenever I'm with you but afraid that you might also be the reason of my fall.
With you, I have doubts. I would always want to discuss how I wanted out. But you will play a song and singing along like they are meant for me. As always, you know my weakest spot. We never told our feeling with each other. But we compliment and understand each other.
With you, I feel worthless. That I will never be enough. That I am not the one you need. But when I'm with you, I feel like the most perfect girl. With you, I can become hot and cold, I can say yes then no. You are the thick and I'm the thin, you are the helpful and I'm the helpless, you are the powerful and I'm the powerless. We are total opposites and I thought we are perfect that way. But you are also my beginning but never be my ending.
