The Girl who Survived (Fred Weasley)

CH 54. Letters

In the weeks that follow a new skill is presented that makes living with emotions bearable. The only question is, for how long?

Songs used to inspire:

I Can't Breath - Be a Miller

Panic Room(Acoustic) - Au/Ra

Chasing Cars - Sleeping At Last

Dear Elodie,

I'm sorry to hear about Professor Trelawney being sacked. McGonagall mentioned how much you enjoyed her class. I am however glad to hear that you're learning to control your mind better. Though I so hate to admit it, the latest word is that Voldemort has been toying with wizard's minds once again to get intelligence. Though now is not the time for your wandless magic to be failing you. Keep in mind, any slight alteration to your magic should be reported to Snivelus. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your birthday. Remus and I were rather worried. Tonks misses you. We look forward to having you home for the holidays. Don't think that just because you are of age, you're allowed to share a room with Weasley. I can still go for his throat.

I'm afraid this may be our last letter until then my dear girl. More and more owls are being intercepted with the rise of disappearances. The Ministry is on their toes and doing everything in their power to avoid the truth. So, until then my dear Elly-belly, keep your wits about you. I trust you know what you're doing.

With love always,

Sirius

P.S. Remus sends his love, as well as chocolate to be found in the envelope.

~Elodie's POV~

The first week was the hardest. I avoided Fred, until he loudly asked to switch brewing partners in Potions. Surprisingly to which Snape obliged. The only downside was that he was now partnered with Angelina, and I was with Adrian. In Charms Alicia's girlfriend Oliva was kind enough to sit with me while he sat behind us with Alicia. The rest of the time I made myself scarce. Going to classes, training with Snape, tea with Minerva, occasionally Dumbledore. I'd do my studying in the library, sometimes I'd go up to the astronomy tower. But for the most part I was alone.

"Can I use Occlumency to not feel emotions anymore?" I asked snape at the end of our lessons one day.

"You've been well at shutting your mind, but to properly use Occlumency, you need to empty yourself. Not just your mind. But your entire self. Convince yourself that you are not capable of feeling any emotion. That is the only way it will work," Snape told me.

"And then I won't feel anything?" I asked to clarify.

"You'll be aware, but yes. You'll be numb," He answered.

The second week wasn't any easier. Especially on Friday when I was leaving the shower just as Fred was going in. Seeing his half naked body made me want him right then and there. To tell him the truth about why I did what I had. To tell him that I loved him. But instead I chose to occlude. That way, moving out of the way and proceeding as if he were just anyone else didn't hurt so bad.

"He's still upset you know," George told me in the library one night. I put my finger up to my lips to silence him since Madam Pinche was doing rounds today and she seemed a bit more uptight than usual. He leaned in so he could speak softer and not get us kicked out. "I know he plays it off when we're in class by being a git, but he's driving me crazy, going through hell, constantly asking what he did wrong. What he could have done differently. That is when he's not moping around."