"(There is a bitter triumph in crashing when you should be soaring.)" -Icarus Laughed
When I awoke, I was alone. Alone with my pounding head, being infiltrated by the harmful thoughts of Andromeda.
I got up from my bathroom floor, seeing a note on the countertop.
"Finnick, there are many words in all the languages I could say, but none of them could ever fit your characteristics and personality. It would be basic of me to say I flat out love you, so instead I'll say 'you make my brain melt, my heart surge, and my vision tunnel'. I miss you, the old you. I know it's unfair of me to tell you this, but you used to be my soulmate, and my forever after. I love you, and all the imperfections, fractures, and creases you may have. Finnick Jaymes Clark, my lungs inflate and deflate just for you."
A warm tear puddled in my eye, if I blinked even slightly it would fall past my eyelashes.
"Andie, please." I whispered, seeing a droplet mark hit the brittle page. My fist crumpled the paper without thought.
Breathing heavily, I fell once more towards the floor- catching myself on the counter. I managed to drag myself to the bathtub, getting a blanket and pillow delivered to me by my mother.
"Finn, you should go see a therapist." She whispered, knowing I couldn't even stand without breaking down. "I hate watching you decay."
"Mom, please." I whispered, unable to stomach the thought of a therapist. Andromeda wanted to be a therapist, how could I see one?
"Mom?" I asked after a minute, my voice barely above a whisper. She hummed, signaling she was paying attention. "How do you cope with all this? I mean, Ophie and me, this hasn't been exactly the easiest year. I don't know what to do with myself these days."
"Oh honey, just knowing that you are alright is all the coping I need. Yes I am sad about your sister, but I'm happy that you are still here. Honestly, your father got me through the worst of it, right after Ophelia passed, we began planning the funeral, only then you had your accident- we still laid her to rest, closed casket, and we honestly debated if we should've began planning one for you, which is what sent me into a spiral. You dad managed to convince me that you were going to come back, and you did, but he was also understanding and let me grieve the loss of my daughter the way my body needed to, it didn't matter what I needed or did, he was right there. And I'll be right here for you, Finn." She hugged me. Rubbing her hands up and down my back to try and soothe my dry tears.
"Thank you mom, I love you." I managed to say, she didn't reply verbally except for a hum and squeezing me again. We sat like this for several minutes.
Once the clock turned to 6:30, mom decided to get us up and go downstairs. "Finn, you need to eat dinner." She spoke softly, brushing my hair back off my face. I nodded and followed her.
She handed me a plate of pork roast and mac and cheese, something that I really liked. "Thanks." I said, my voice unable to stay steady.
I ate slowly, afraid I would choke if I didn't. I didn't think of anything while I ate, my body moving robotically. I could feel the stares of my parents eyes on me, but I didn't pay them any attention.
When it became midnight, she finally went to bed. I was glad she didn't sleep next to my bathtub all night. She placed a chaste on my head before leaving. I was awake, just had my eyes closed, to make it look like I was asleep to her. Truthfully, I hadn't been sleeping well, if at all, since I got home.
Everytime I closed my eyes, I had flashes of either Ophie or Andie, or sometimes both. It wrecked my mental health, my physical health not far behind.
