Finn Wolfhard the hottest guy at school he has all the girls falling for him but the one he wants. but he doesn't realize he wants her so he bullies her.
It's been almost a month since I've been living with Finn. my dad's In jail for beating me. It was a long process. I had to go to court and I had to show the police my bruises and scars from him and tell most of the stories of what he did. each time I had to tell a story made me rethink everything and I got teary-eyed. I have been happy living with Finn but going through the whole process of my dad put me back in my depressive stage and I think Finn notices that I've been sad because I spend most of the day in my room blasting sad music while his parents are at work. I sit in my room and cry over everything. of course, finn doesn't know. he also doesn't know that I've started cutting again. well he didn't know I cut in the first place but I stopped when Finn's parents took me In. but the whole process with my dad like I said put me back in the emotional state that I tried so so hard to get out of. I tell myself every day to be strong for Finn's sake so before I step out of my door each morning I cover up my bags under my eyes and my tear stains and put on a smile. Finn and I haven't really talked because I've been shutting him out because I know if I start to talk to him again I know he's definitely going to ask me what's wrong and I definitely will start crying and I have to keep up my badass reputation with him. Nick bugs me every day about what Finn and I and I give him the same answer every time. (🖕🖕) I've been sneaking out and visiting my mom's grave at night. sleeping there sometime just to know that my moms by me. the truth is I had a necklace that my mom gave me and it made me feel safe and that she was always with me but I left it at home by accident and the police wouldn't let me back in and I really wanna sneak in there before they clean the house out. there also letting me legally live with the Wolfhard's.
anyway's, It was Friday, and Finn and I just walked home from school. like most days we both walk up the stars together then walk into our own rooms and he does whatever he does while I play loud sad music and cry in my bed. I couldn't help but let out little yelps from my crying but they started to get louder and you could hear them over the music. I forgot to say I had a walk-in closet in my room so Mr. Wolfhard turned it into my own bathroom. I went to my bathroom and turned the shower on and got in so that the sound of the music and shower would drain out my soft yelling. nobody came into my bathroom so I had a razor torn apart in my shower on the shelf. I grabbed the blade nearly dropping it. I couldn't see very well through my tears and the water hitting my face. I put the blade to my wrist and started cutting. I let out a soft scream and watched the blood trickle down my wight t-shirt I was wearing in the shower. I slid down and sat in the shower I soon lifted my head up and screamed through tears while hitting my fists on the bottom of the tub. I covered my mouth to keep myself from screaming any louder but that didn't last because I started to scream something that I didn't even quite understand. I stuck the blade to my wrist again and screamed aloud when it dug into my skin. I looked down and when I realized I missed my vein I screamed FUCK a bit to load because the next thing I hear is knocking on my bathroom door.
(play the song again)
"go away," I say helplessly through tears.
"FUCK NO" I heard finn bust open the door and pull open the shower curtain. he looks down at me like this.
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He steps behind me in the shower and sits behind my closing the curtain. he just wraps his arms around me while I'm in between his legs. he then sees the blade and rips it out of my hand throwing it out of the shower. he has seen the blood trickling down me and hugged me tighter. I was still crying and struggling to breathe because I knew it was too late to stop and say I'm fine like I normally do. I was squirming and mumbling through tears that "I don't want to be here" over and over again until I feel finns warm lips on the top of my head. I stop and cry quietly letting the hot tears fall down my face as they hit finns arms that are wrapped around me. we sat there for a good 30 minutes not saying anything until the water got cold and Finn started to squirm. I'm assuming because his long legs started to hurt. I lean forward and reach up to shut the water off. I lean back on to finn who starts to speak.
"why" is all he manages to get out. it sounds like he's been crying as well.
"I'm sorry Finn please don't get angry at me" I place my head on my knees.
"I'm not angry at you Hann I'm just upset that you shut me out and didn't talk to me about your problems. I could have helped you threw it...........what if I didn't stop you......where do you think you would be huh..........I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I knew you killed yourself when I could have prevented it... I can't lose you Hann you are my best friend and I need you. please don't ever ever do something like this again or were going to have to get you professional help........is there anything you want to talk about"
"no, I'm fine" I assure him.
"no don't give me that fucking bullshit that you've been giving me for the past fucking month Hannah" he stands up out of the tub.
"Finn if I talk to you about my problems then I might never stop and you're going to think I'm a weak bitch and get annoyed with me really quickly" I stand up next to him in my black spanks and white oversized shirt.
(play it again)
"first of all, I don't want you to stop I want you to tell me every single problem even if it has to do with the dumbest shit and second of all I am never going to get annoyed with you I would actually be really glad to have you talk my ear off because you haven't talked to me in almost a month. and third of all your not a week bitch you are one of the toughest people I know" Finn was looking into my eyes and not pulling them away for that entire speech. I knew right there then and now that this was the boy that I wanted to marry. I couldn't fucking help myself I just couldn't resist after what he just said to me. without any hesitations, I got on my tippy toes and smashed my lips into his wrapping my bloody hands above his neck causing him to flinch at first but eventually put his hands on my hips and kiss back. I slowly pulled away and putting my forehead on his and whispering against his lips.
"I'm going to get dressed in some comfy clothes and I'll meet you in your room and tell you everything...I promise" I let go and walk into my room waiting for him to walk out so I could get dressed. he stood there shocked for a moment but then walked his drenched ass to his room and changed.
