Inferni

Chapter 5

I fiddled with the sleeves of the light sweater that Jill had given me. I stared at myself in the mirror, my gray eyes bright and shining. My once shaggy and unkempt bronze hair was cleaned and brushed.

The black eye and the busted lip that I had received were covered with makeup, and it didn't look like I had been fighting for my life.

There was a knock on my door, and I looked at the door to see Patrick leaning against the door. He studied me before he caught my eye and raised an eyebrow. "Ready?" he asked, cocking his head.

"Yes," I replied nodding. I took a deep breath and moved a hand through my hair, not used to feeling it so soft.

"Come on. They are here." He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. "Mom likes to go all out for parties or get-togethers," he warned. "Do you know the different types of forks?"

I gave him a weird look. "What do you think?" I asked, and he snorted. "If we are allowed to eat, we do not get to use any utensils. We have to use our hands while the "adoptable children" get to use them."

"That's stupid," Patrick said, and I nodded in agreement. He cleared his throat and looked at me, studying me with those eyes of his. "So, they choose which children are adoptable and which children are not adoptable? They make it so that the adoptable children are adequate for society but not the others?"

"Well, it is just one person that decides our fate, but ya," I said. "She has certain standards that we have to meet. If we don't meet them the first time, then we are labeled unadoptable."

"What was one of the standards?" Patrick asked.

"One of them was how old a child had come in, and if she or he was beautiful or not. I was four when I was brought to the orphanage with chubby cheeks that were stained with tears."

"Why were they stained with tears?" Patrick asked.

I licked my lips and cleared my throat. I had no idea how to tell him that my parents were literally murdered in front of me, and the people that did it didn't even try to find me and kill me. "Uh..." I said, shaking my head to remove that image. "It's complicated," I said.

Patrick looked at me without turning his head towards me. He didn't believe me when I said that it was complicated because he had a feeling that it wasn't. However, he let it slide.

I moved a hand across my shoulder and cleared my throat. "So... how am I going to know which fork to use?" I asked.

"Just follow my lead," Patrick said. "I will help you with that."

I offered him a small smile and nodded my head. I was grateful that he would help and prayed that I wouldn't fuck it up.

***

Blue eyes stared at me with shock when Patrick and I walked in. His lips were parted, but no sound came out. Fear and happiness filled his eyes, and it looked like he saw a ghost.

I kept my eyes trained on him while I moved a little behind Patrick. My whole body was tense at the number of eyes at me, and I had no idea if I had made the right decision. I wasn't used to this. I wasn't used to the number of adults in the room, and it... petrified me.

"Blaire?" a small voice whispered, and I looked that way after I studied the people gathered. The blue eyes looked me up and down or what could be seen behind Patrick. "Is... it really you?" he asked.

My throat closed off, and I tore my gaze off of him. I didn't answer. I couldn't. I wanted to scream, yell, but no sound would come out.

I looked at the four other people sitting there. My eyes lingered on a brown haired and brown eyed boy before they moved to a little girl sitting beside her father.

The little girl grinned and waved her hand. She smiled, showing a missing front tooth.

"Blaire," the same male said, and I tore my gaze off of her and towards him. "Please," he begged. He didn't move from his spot, and I could see the tears in his eyes. "Is it really you?"

I cleared my throat and lifted my chin. I made sure that my face was a mask because I did not want him to see my grief. "Which one?" I asked, my voice shaking a bit. "The one that was waiting for you for eight years? Or the one that almost died to protect the kids that were left?"

The male, Declan, flinched. He looked guilty, but he didn't say a word. His eyes tried to find the little girl he knew, but she was long gone.

I shook my head and looked towards Jill. My stomach was in knots, and I knew that I was going to be sick. "I am sorry," I said. "I just..." I licked my lips, trying to stop myself from panicking.

"Go," Jill said, nodding her head. "I will send Parker with some food for you."

I nodded my head before turning tail and running. I did not care that I was being disrespectful to the guest, but I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle the betrayal that I felt when I saw him.