Find My Way Back To You

4

If that's who you are
Just a meaningless star in the sky
Tell me what is the meaning
Of what I am feeling
If you are the reason why?

--------> ~ <--------

"What is it?" Chandler asked, quickly standing up to grab his jacket in excitement. He stumbled over his own feet a couple of time while he was looking throughout the apartment. When he picked up his coat from the kitchen counter, he zipped it close to his chin. "If you're patient, you can see it," Blaine answered, walking towards one of the bedrooms. Chandler followed suit, sliding a pair of gloves over his trembling hands as he looked outside. Snow slowly started to fall, which was kind of odd seen the circumstances of the earth. It was kind of magical; the unique snowflakes that combined when they touched one another, slowly forming a small layer on the edges of the windows.

Blaine slid a window open above Chandler's bed and climed through it with ease, as if he had done this a couple of times before. When he hang at his fingertips, he let go and landed on the fire escape with a loud clang. "Blaine!" He heard Chandler yell. When he looked up he saw the boy's frightened face appear through the window. The expression he wore changed when he saw that Blaine was safe right underneath his nose. He let out a small huff and let his tight grip around the window frame.

"Don't do that, or at least tell me there was a fire escape here," he said, climbing through the window himself. The stairwell was oddly low for the window, but manageable to jump on without breaking something. Blaine smirked. "Were you worried, Chandler? How thoughtful." Chandler gave him a rough nudge in his stomach. "Dork," he teased, turning around to look at the snow.

"It is kind of weird, actually," he said, not turning his head to look at Blaine. The other boy grabbed the railing and started to look at the falling snow as well. The cold iron hurt his fingers a bit, but he didn't care.
"What is?" He asked. Chandler chuckled and looked at his shoes in embarrassment. "Nothing, it's pretty dumb, really."
"No, no you can't do that! Now I want to know it," Blaine whined. "Pretty please?" He finished, shooting his infamous puppy eyes at Chandler, who sighed once again in response. He didn't seem comfortable with telling him at all.

"When you walked into my room, a very... different thing came to mind," he said awkwardly, turning his head the other direction to avoid eye contact. It was silent for a moment, with Blaine trying to figure out what he meant. When it finally seemed to sink in, his eyes grew a bit wider. "Oh."
Come on, Blaine, you can say something better than that.

"Don't worry about it though, I probably would've thought the same," he responded with a soft smile. "Does that mean you're..." he didn't want to finish his sentence, afraid of what the other boy might think of him.
"I think so. Are you?" It was silent for a while before Blaine nodded. Chandler thought he was gay himself, so why would he beat Blaine up about his sexuality? Besides, no straight boy ever 'thinks' he is gay. When he thinks it, it's true.

"Yeah, I think so as well." Lie.
"How do you deal with it?" Chandler asked. Blaine shrugged casually and gave a weak smile. "I told one of my friends from my old school. And my parents of course. No one else knows." Lie.
"They don't have to either, it's my business, not theirs." Half a lie. They made it their business.

"There will always be people who make it their business," Chandler responded with anger in his voice. He made a snowball from all of the snow that lay on top of the railing and threw it as far as he could. It hit a car nearby and spat open like a balloon filled with water. The car's annoyingly loud alarm went off, making a dog bark and run away from its owner. Chandler didn't seem to care, he was too lost in his own thoughts.

He started to breathe heavily, grabbed more snow and pressed it together once more. When he spoke, his voice got louder with every word. "There's always people who try to make our lives miserable because of something we can't," he threw the snowball away with a lot of force, "control!" He yelled the last word while gritting his teeth and grunting like an animal.

"Why?"  His voice sounded desperate, loaded with guilt and sadness. Blaine immediately knew there was something more going on. Chandler's entire body language was different than it was a few minutes ago when they were inside eating pizza. He had only known the boy and his two coloured eyes for a day, but something inside him could feel it that there was something off, as if they had known each other for years. When he looked closer, he saw tears welling up in the corner of the blue eye. The brown one seemed to stay dry, but that wouldn't take very long either.

''Why would people be so determined to break others apart?'' Chandler sniffed, looking away so Blaine would not be able to look into his eyes anymore. He tried to wipe away his tears without the other boy noticing, but it was obvious that the topic of conversation hit a soft spot. 'Why is this bothering you so much?'' He asked in a gently voice, trying not to make the other boy angry. ''Aren't you bothered?''
''Of course I am.'' I got beaten up because of them. 'But something more seems to be wrong.'' Were you as well?

''I am not a very nice person, Blaine.'' Chandler's voice had changed when he spoke. He wasn't soft, gentle and hurt anymore. He seemed angry. Not angry with Blaine, but with himself. ''I've done stuff that I'm not proud of, and I don't want you to be part of my problems,'' He said. His voice wasn't angry anymore. In fact; it didn't show any emotions. It was just an empty statement, and with that he climbed on top of the railing to crawl back through his window.

''Chandler wait.'' Before Blaine knew it, the words had come out of his mouth and his fingers were intertwined with Chandler's cold ones. Even though the chilliness of the hands gave him a shiver down his spine, a warm feeling took over his stomach and twisted it upside down. He felt a sickening but nice feeling go through his body that made everything a lot brighter in his eyes despite the rough atmosphere.
''I have problems as well, bigger than you might think. It's okay to have them, if you don't then you would take the small but good things in life for granted. I don't care what you've done, what kind of mistakes you've made, you can't make me look at you in a different way.''

''You are a good person. I know it might sound weird out of my mouth since I've known you for,'' he looked at his watch, ''exactly six hours now.'' Chandler gave a weak chuckle at that. ''But I can see it. Besides, we live next to each other. Pretending like the other doesn't exist is kind of a dick move, don't you think?'' Chandler huffed once again and gave a small smile.
''Now get down from that railing, you are literally making my hands sweat out of fear for you falling right now.''

''Or we can just go back inside. My toes are about to freeze off,'' Chandler said, nodding to the window next to his head. Blaine gave a small nod and let go of the other boy's hand. They both got back inside and sat down on the couch, not bothering to take their jackets off. ''What did you want to show me out there, actually?'' Blaine looked at Chandler, whose eyes lit up with curiosity. He blushed a bit.

''Nothing important.''

Hii!!!! :D
THE CHRISTMAS BREAK IS FINALLY HERE!!!!!
AAAAAAAHHH!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL!!!!
LOVE YA!!

SHIZZLE DIZZLE
~GIRL WHO SET UP HER TREE DURING JUNE