The boy from London

Ghosting

It was about 10am when I woke up. As always I grab my phone and check social media + messages. Still no snap from Luke. I still wasn't overthinking.
I go down to have breakfast and say hi to my mom, sister, and of course my dogs. I hang out for a little then go back upstairs. I close my door, and plop right on my bed.
I text Jase "goodnight love, hope you slept well" after that text I get a snap from Luke. I open it instantly and he was just responding to what I had last said. He did say sorry for the late response or anything. I messaged him back and again, no response.

I get up again and went to feed my rats and give them water and play with them for a little. After that, I went to take a shower and got ready even though I wasn't going anywhere. I put makeup on and did my hair. I was still wearing my PJs and just put on a regular cute shirt so I could take pictures.
I grab one of my rats and take a little snap video of us and posted it to my snapchat. Luke had viewed it but never opened my snap. Few minutes later he snapped me saying Hi. He asked if I wanted to facetime so I said sure and we did.
We talked for hours about ourselves and just about life. What we both have in common is struggling with depression and anxiety. He talked about his struggles and his relationship with his parents. He also talks about how he smokes a lot and drinks to get rid of the pain. I learn a lot about him and I talk to him , giving him advice and just comforting him.

We both ended the night with "I'll always be here for you."

The next day we were flirting even more and the flirting got a little sexual, so did our chat. I eventually told him that I had a boyfriend, but to "save myself" I said but it's not working out and stuff. He was a little sad but just was saying to break up with him then and just giving me advice on how to split ways even though I was lying about things to working out between Jase and I.

After a while, Luke and I stopped talking for the rest of the day. Mostly because he left me on delivered and kept view my snap stories.

I facetime Jase that day and talked to him about my encounter with a boy I met online from London. I said how sweet he was and just how much we seem to have in common. Jase was surprisingly not upset he seemed happy? that I made a friend I guess or just because I was happy to meet this boy. I also told him I flirted with Luke because I was thinking and Jase said it was okay and to just be more careful.

Little did he know those words wouldn't stop me...

I was talking to Luke more the following day and he asked me if I broke up with my boyfriend yet and I told him no not yet because I was scared. He comforted me and gave me more advice. We then started flirting again and talking sexually. After about an hour of that he said "I can't do this or talk to you like this if you have a boyfriend" I told him I know and that I was sorry. I also told him I really liked him. He made me feel different. I've never felt this way about anyone. He told me the exact same thing. The last thing I said was "Yeah". He didn't open my snap anymore.

I called Jase that night and told him I needed a break. He told me he doesn't wanna take a break and we don't need one. But I told him I didn't wanna be in a relationship right now and I needed space. He said I'll give you space and we don't have to talk for a while but we aren't breaking up because we love each other and I agreed. Truly I really did love Jase. He was my first boyfriend and I believed he was my soulmate.

I texted Luke the next day and told him I broke up with Jase, which was a lie. He asked if I was okay and stuff. I told him yeah and that it was hard. He said he knew it was hard but it was what was best for me. I agreed. I told him again that I really liked him. I knew nothing would happen between us, at least not now anyway. He told me that we can't be together right now because it would be too hard. I told him I know.
We had talked and talked for hours for another day, and after that I was left on delivered and he had stopped responding, even in the group chat. He would still view my story and post on his but never bothered opening my snap.

Two weeks passed and nothing.
Three weeks passed and nothing.
A month had finally happened and I had woken up with a snap from Luke....