I Hate My Neighbor

One, two, COMPRESS the STRESS

(Warning: this is more of an informational chapter, not very interesting. Feel free to skip to the bottom part although the beginning might be very crucial to the story*hint*hint*)

Today is the day. TODAY IS THE DAY I GET OUT OF THIS HOSPITAL AND GO HOME! Mom knocks three times, flicks the door two times, turns the handle, (she is a weird one, my mother) and walks in, "Are you ready Hun? Your father took all your stuff into the car, we just have to pay for the wheelchair and we can go!"
Oh.
Yeah.
Did I tell you I have to be in a wheel chair now? What about the fact that I might never, ever walk again? MY POOR LEGS!!!!!! I LOVED THEM TOO MUCH TO LET THEM GO!

Noticing that she's expecting an answer I clear my throat, "ahem, yeah I'm ready mom. I just want to bring these flowers home, beautiful as a bumble bee." Looking at mom, she starts to tear up, "Mom? Mom why are you crying?"

Sniffing she hugs me, "Oh it's nothing, it's just that you never called me mom before. It's new, and I like it very much so."
I look at her, "well why wouldn't I call you mom? You are my mother right? What else could I call you?"

"So you don't remember? You don't remember what happened? How you spoke like an African American right after you found out about your actual parents? Well Hun!!! That's truly amazing! I have to tell your father! God heard my prayers!" Laughing, she ran out and slammed the door on me.

AHHHHHH hello? Confused person here!!!! Why on Earth would I speak like an African American? Truly amazing? Clearly my brain wasn't the only one that was messed after the accident.

Pushing the help button, two men walk in with purple masks.

"Oh hey purple masked nurses! Could you help me?? PLEASEE? I need to move myself into the bathroom before I go on a three hour road trip!" I grin at them.

One of the guys (the taller, buffer guy) scoffs, "Why the hell would you think that we would help you? We aren't nurses.Besides, We got our own problems, you are coming with us."

"Well I don't want to burst your bubble but I might burst if I come with you. One, because I need to go to the bathroom. Two, because you don't look like the type of guys who would like to kidnap me! So help me get to the bathroom!" I start shaking.

The shorter masked guy says, "uh, what do we do? What the HELL is she doin?"

"I dunno but we gotta get her into that damned bathroom before she actually explodes."

Fun fact about me!: I can control my body while not actually looking like I'm awake! Hence what I am doing now. Each of my eyes roll at one of the guys and lifting my shaking hand I say, "Daw and Claw, do it now!!" Woah. It didn't even sound like my voice. It sounded like, an old lady's raspy voice.

The two guys laugh, "She's in her! Yes!" And that's how two purple masked guys knocked me unconscious and kidnapped me while I STILL had to pee.