Shrek X Joe Biden X Donald Trump - A Love Story

Shrek is a whore

Shrek POV ( same day as chapter 1)

I opened my eyes, and realized that it  was the first day of school. The swamp was so quiet, I almost didn't want to get out of bed. I decided against it, and started to blast All Star. I then proceeded to take a mud bath, and tear pages out of fairy tale book pages to use as toilet paper and towels to make sure I looked my best for Biden. 

Yes, I am still dating Fiona, but I totally have a crush on Biden. And besides, what Fiona doesn't know can't hurt her ;)  I know i'm such a whore but I just can't help it when it comes to Biden and his beautifully sweaty pale skin I just can't help myself.

After my morning routine, I crawled through the mud one last time before hopping on my razor scooter and skated towards school, having nasty thoughts about Biden.  

Once I entered the classroom, I got a text from Fiona. I decided to read it after I sat down. She said she was sick and wasn't going to be at school. Why does she feel the need to tell me about every detail of her life? I sent a quick message telling her to fuck off, but because I am such a positive thinker, I realized that this is the perfect time to make a move on Biden without her clinging on to me every second of the day. 

Once I got out of my wonderful thoughts bout cheating on Fiona, I realized that I sit all the way across the classroom from my beloved Biden! And he was talking to that ugly bitch, Trump, who uses cat piss on her hair instead of snail slime. Like the fuck she doin out here with that pack of ramen noodles on her head? And the audacity she has to yell at Biden. I want to invert her knee caps, throw her into a garbage disposal, and watch her body go ding ding ding ding ding.  

I quickly realized I was thinking too much about that bitch, Trump. Every time I see her I get so infuriated, just looking at her makes me want to gouge out my eyes. Ugh that ugly whore is gonna make my beautiful green skin look dull. I  decided to stare at Biden until lunch time to make my eyes hurt less and cleanse my soul. 

"Hey Mac daddy, do you want to share this RaW onion with me? I promise I don't have herpes, so I'm completely safe;)"  I said in my most seductive voice and put on my sexiest smile. No one could possible resist me. 

"Ahah sure shawty bae." he said it that super hot boyish tone.  As we shared the onion, we looked into each others eyes and I  felt like I was in heaven. The whole world slowed down and for a moment it felt like we were the only two people in world. I quickly looked away, and realized that Trump was staring at us. Why does she have to ruin everything? I bet that bitch has a crush on Biden to! Well I'm going to make her suffer for being so ugly and having the audacity to even look at me. I quietly giggled so that Biden would question what I was laughing about. 

"What's so funny baby gurl?" he  seductively whispered in my ear. 

"Oh nothing, I was just thinking about how hot you look in that school uniform. And I giggle when I'm excited. That's why my stripper name is also: giggles." I rambled on with out even thinking. 

Wait, I just noticed he's blushing. That's so cute! I couldn't help but blush as well.  It's a win win situation for me because not only do I get Biden and Fiona, I also get to watch Trump suffer. 

"Damn baby gurl, how bout we hook up during tonight's party? I might be there a little late, but if you don't mind, I would love to make you scream ;) "

Oh my god I'm so happy right now! "I would love nothing more than to have you rearrange my guts tonight." 

we smiled at each other then he walked off, making me want to chase after him. I know that I should feel bad about constantly cheating on Fiona, but I don't, because she is so annoying. Like, she always feels the need to tell me everything about her life, but she has big anime girl titties so I keep her around. 

Time Skip to the party

I sat around, waiting for Biden. About an hour into the party, he finally arrived. I sauntered up to him and whispered in his ear "Hey daddy can you guess what color my panties are?" 

He quickly turned around and said " you better not be wearing any underwear you slut." 

hehe I like where this is going. He grabbed my arm, and then rushed to the closest bedroom and said "strip." 

I looked at him, shocked. 

"now" he demanded while smirking.

 " yes daddy" I said while taking off all my clothes, suddenly getting embarrassed at my nakedness. 

"hmmm, now go be a good girl and wait for daddy on the bed." I rushed to the bed and waited.

Timeskip (because i'm not mentally stable enough to write a smut rn)

I woke up with Biden in between my big ol knockers. I started to recall what we did last night, and a blush started to form on my face. I slowly started to move away from him and got dressed. I left a note before leaving the room, and I started walking back home, thinking about the wonderful night I just had.