Touch of Darkness

Chapter 14: Nullification

When I was alone with Zedd in the office, I talked to him about the indirect teaching idea that I had. We were chatting while facing opposite directions and working on our own assignments. I was so excited about this training and it must've reflected in the way I was talking, because when I looked back at Zedd to make sure he was listening, he was also glancing at me with a small smile on his face.

"So what do you think, Zedd?" I asked him enthusiastically.

Because of how well things were going, I was expecting him to answer just as willingly as Cain and the others did. But there was a longer silence from him than I thought there would be. He swiveled his chair so that he was facing me and stretched his arms out, contemplating something. His expression changed to a more stern one.

"Victoria, your friends and I are pretty far off from getting along with each other."

"I know, that's why I think if we do this, then even if it takes a while, eventually they'll come to trust you a little. And by coming up with training plans for them, you might feel a little closer with them too."

He shakes his head, "Whether anyone trusts me or not is unimportant to me. I've never cared about other people's opinion of me."

"If you didn't care, then why did you approach me about training? Why do you talk to me at all?"

"Because you're the only one that matters. The only person that I want to like me is you"

I was not expecting that kind of answer, but I can't let him make me feel flustered here. I need to stand my ground, "If what I think matters to you, then how about this - if you help me with this, it would make me extremely happy, and I'd probably like you more." I gave him a smile and rolled my chair until it bumped next to his. I tilted my head and gazed up at him, "So do it for me?"

After a few painfully awkward seconds of silence, Zedd shook his head again and sighed, "Well if you're gonna ask me like that, I guess I have no choice."

I almost hugged him from how happy that made me, but I held myself back. The rest of the time, Zedd began writing out notes for me to take back to my friends. He actually went into detail for each person and explained what areas should be focused on.

When he was finishing up Cain's, I worked up the nerve to ask Zedd the other question I wanted to ask him. It didn't have anything to do with this training, but it was important for my own personal plan in handling the darkness and "evil me" that had been wringing my mind since last night. First I asked him to write out notes for my own powers so that I could do some studying and practicing on my own. And while he went over that, I asked him as nonchalantly as I could.

"Would it be possible to use nullification on myself?"

Zedd paused for a moment and almost laughed, "Why would you want to do that?"

"It's just something I was wondering. Like one of those 'what if' questions people have about superheroes' powers."

He thought for a moment, "The nullification is actually a rare magic so I don't know much about the mechanism behind it. But I suppose you could nullify your own power replication. Nullifying your nullification might be possible, but it'd be pretty tricky to turn the magic onto its own source."

"So it is possible...good to know."

Zedd gave me a puzzled look and told me not to actually try it out. I brushed him off and went back to listening to his explanations for training.

Last night when I wasn't allowed to sleep, I thought of possible ways to combat the evil nightmares I had. One of the options I was considering, even though it seemed extreme, was taking away my own powers. By nullifying the power replication, and then nullifying the nullification power, I would essentially make myself powerless. Without powers I wouldn't hurt anyone right? It's not like I would miss these powers or anything, I'd just gotten them after all, and so far they were bringing more trouble than they were helping.

Zedd couldn't tell me a lot on how it would work though. This might be something I'll have to research about myself, even if I have to experiment with it a little.