Music Of Life

Monster

A song that describes you: Monster by Skillet

I feel it deep within,
It's just beneath my skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become
The nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

"Daxton!" My mom bellows from the kitchen. I suspect she got the call from my principal and is not too excited about it. I saunter from my attic bedroom to the kitchen of my slightly large three-story house. My mom waits for me at the back door threshold, arms crossed and toes tapping at a much to quick pace. The anger in her eyes could burn a hole in a steel wall.

"Ma, it wasn't really my fault. That Mikey kid had it coming to him." I try to defend myself to my mom with a lame excuse, but by the look on her face, I've only dug another foot into my already too deep grave. My mom takes a deep breath before speaking in a calm, quiet voice.

"I don't know what to do with you Daxton Murphey. This time was only a broken arm, but what's next? That fall could have killed Mikey, I hope you realize that." My mom shoots daggers at the top of my bowed head as I guiltily stare at the chipped, yellowing kitchen tiled at my feet. "We'll discuss your punishment after your father gets home. You better be praying he didn't get a call about your suspension too." With my mom's words ringing through my head, I trudge back up to my bedroom.

I imagine I will be seeing nothing but this room for quite a while after what happened today. This is the fifth suspension I have received this year, and it's only January. Each of those suspensions were the result of my "bad choice of actions" as my mom calls them. I'm what some may call a bully? I start fights just because I can. I "pull pranks" on the weaker kids. My reasons for this, I have none.

I used to be different than this, I used to be the popular guy. The good guy. The smart kid. The guy everyone liked to be around. Then my dad was offered a new, higher paying job halfway across the country. I was forced to leave my established life in Watervliet, New York for the podunk town of Colby, Kansas this past August. I've spent the part six months trapped in this town and I long for the day I long for the day I graduate so I can go back home, back to Watervliet. I grew up in Watervliet and I plan on dying in Watervliet. This is just an extended vacation.

It's my senior year of highschool and I'm on track to graduate with a 3.86 GPA. It probably would be higher if I didn't get in trouble so often. Back at my old school, I was top of my class, Mr. Popular. But here in Colby, I became the nobody, the lame new kid. That's all changed now. Now I'm the most feared guy at school. I have my own posse, who re really just the tougher kids that are scared of me. It's not that I'm the biggest, toughest guy around. I just carry an aura of toughness and anger everywhere I go.

Sometimes I look on the mirror and hate what I've become, like I'm doing now. My bedroom has an ensuite bathroom. It's really nice to have for the multitude of times I've been grounded. This is one of the meager things I actually enjoy about the move here.

As I look at my own reflection, I see plain as day the monster I have become. Just today I pushed Mikey, a guy who has never done wrong by me, down a single flight of stairs. I was vexed at my girlfriend, Anna, for sending me a text, just one text, just two words, "We're over!". Mikey had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. He must have noticed how upset I was, but decided to try and help me anyways, like he does for anyone. Mikey is the guy I used to be and i envy him for that, even if I don't show it. I was so irate at Anna for breaking up with me that I attacked the person physically closest to me at the time, which just happened to be Mikey. I watched as he toppled down the stairs, over and over again he rolled. It's a miracle that fall didn't kill him. My face was a veil of pure anger, but on the inside, I felt sheer terror as I watched this guy that has only done right by me topple down the stairs. If Mikey weren't such an athlete, that fall would have broken !ore than just his arm.