Mental Breakdown Notes

hope.

It's been a while...

Didn't think I'd glue it together just to shatter it again. Well that's love for you i guess...

I want to fix it but it feels like there is no hope. I can't understand her and she cannot me. What should I do?

I want to tell her so much things but I'm afraid, afraid of her reaction, her opinion, afraid of being hurt again.

If I tell her she's beautiful will she believe me?

If I tell her I want us to be together will she believe me?

If I tell her I love her will she believe me?

If I tell her I just want to see her and hug her, to put all of this bullshit behind our backs just for a minute, will she believe me?

I'll never know...

Lying in my bed all day, can't get her out of my head. All the good and all the bad things flowing through my head, flashing before my blurry vision. I can't stop the tears from flowing, not anymore.

If I ask her to hang out will she do it?

If I ask her to just be ourselves will she do it?

If I ask her to love me will she do it?

If i ask her to spend a minute in my arms around her will she hold me tight as if we are the only people in the world that matter?

I'll never know...

Lying in my bed all night, thoughts come running through my brain. All the good and all the bad things don't matter to me anymore. I just want to be with you...