just another sad story

a normal school day

i wake up at 7 for online school. due to rhe pandemic we are strictly online. its hard to stay awake during classes but i still do my best. after school ends around 2 i relax. watch some tv and do my makeup.

doing my makeup makes me happy. it gives me a chance to be a new person. to put on the mask ive worn so well for 8 yeats.

then at 4 i go to work, and i go home at 10. when i get home i say goodnight to my parents and i go upstairs to my room. my head constantly hurts so i take my tylenol around 10:30

i cant ever sleep at night. sleeping is a hard task to do. it's so hard to fall asleep with your mind full of thoughts. "did i do all ym school work" or "is this going to be enough for them"

so, at night i stay up and i write. then i do my school and repeat thr process till the weekend. weekends are better. i fall asleep around 6 am and wake up around 3. but in doing so comes the guilty feeling of wasting your whole day by sleeping.

then comes the feeling of regret. of not falling asleep last night. and after that comes the anger. a boiling rage against myself for being who i am. i dont like who i am.