Destiel One Shots

How Can Someone so Beautiful Have a Toxic Mind?

WARNING! This story mentions

-self harm

-Mental Illness'

Read at your own risk!!

Castiel appeared outside the motel the boys were staying in, it was around 4am so both Sam and Dean were probably asleep. Cas peaked into one of the rooms, knowing either Dean or Sam was in there. Cas looked to see Sam sleeping and closed the door, there was only one bed in each room for some reason so Cas decided to look in the room next to it. Dean was sitting in a chair at a small table, there was a empty bottle of whiskey on the ground.

"Dean?" Cas said a loud to see if Dean was awake.

"Whaaaaaaat?" Dean leaned his head back.

"Oh boy.." Cas sighed, he could tell Dean was drunk. "Dean-"

"Caaaaaas, why am I useless?" Dean asked out of nowhere, slurring his words. The question caught Cas off guard.

"What?" Cas didn't know how to answer, he didn't think Dean was useless, but why did Dean think that?

"I'm useless and stupid." Dean covered his eyes with his forearm.

"I disagree, Dean." Cas sat in the chair on the other side of the table. "Why do you think that?"

"You're just lying, man" He picked his head up and looked at Cas. "Sam could be doing this by himself or with you. He'd do the jobs better"

"Dean.. That's not true" Cas had a look of sorrow on his face.

"All I do is get in the way, Caass" Dean slurred, his head tilted back again. "Sam does research and gets rid of the monsters"

Cas sighed. "Dean.." He felt sadness for his friend, he knew what Dean was saying wasn't true but why could he even think that? They're a team, they can do this work without each other. "I think you should go to bed" Cas stood up.

"Ughhhhhh" Dean leaned further back in his chair.

"Lets go, Dean." Cas grabbed Deans hand and pulled him to stand up, which was a lot more effort than it should've been. He helped Dean to his bed and forced him to lay down.

"Caass?" Dean looked up at Cas.

"Yes, Dean?"

"Why do you care about me?" Dean asked, Cas was stunned by the question.

"Because.. you're Dean Winchester. You're brave, strong, you care about protecting people you love, you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders even though you don't need to. I care about you because you're are the greatest man alive and I love you." Cas cheeks were pink.

Dean had a drunk smile on his face. "I love you too" Cas tucked Dean in and sat back down until Dean fell asleep. 

"Why would he think he's useless?" Cas asked a loud to no one, the sun began to come up. He looked over at the clock on the wall, seeing it was around 4:30 am, they might be here awhile.

7:30 AM

Cas was standing outside Dean's room, letting him sleep soundly, especially since it didn't happen often. Sam opened his door and stepped out with his duffle bag, ready to wake up his brother and get going. 

"Hello Sam" Cas said as he looked over at him leaving.

"Hey Cas? What're you doing here?" Sam asked.

"I came around 4am to check on you guys." Cas thought for a second, maybe he should tell sam about last night? "I wanted to make sure you both were okay after your hunt" 

"So you stood out here all night?"

"No, Dean was still awake so he invited me inside." Cas lied, he felt bad about it.

"Alright, i'm going to go get breakfast for us, can you tell Dean when he wakes up?" Sam asked as he walked to baby.

"I will." Cas went back inside Dean's room, Dean was sitting on the edge of the bed covering his eyes.

"Hello, Dean" Cas said as he closed the door behind him.

"Morning..Cas." Dean looked over at him.

"Did you sleep well?" Cas asked, sitting next to him.

"Yeah.." He looked back down at the floor.

"Dean, why do you think you're useless?" Cas was looking right at Dean, he didn't answer. "Dean."

"Because it's the truth." Dean couldn't even look at Cas.

"Dean..." Cas took Dean's hand in his own. "It's not even close to the truth. You're amazing.." 

"No i'm not.." Dean went to move his hand, but Cas wouldn't let him. "Cas let go." 

"No." Cas thought for a minute and pulled up Dean's flannel sleeve. 

"Cas-" Dean quickly looked at Cas as they both saw the small slits on his wrists. 

"Dean.." Cas put a hand over his forearm, healing him. "Promise me you won't keep doing this." Dean stayed silent.

"I'm sorry..." He said quietly, he was ashamed of himself. Cas pulled him into a tight hug, Dean hugged him back.

"I love you.. Promise me you'll stop" Cas said as he broke away a bit from the hug to look at Dean.

"I promise.. I love you too.." Dean set his head on Cas's shoulder, Cas kissed the top of his head.