sour (nomin)

22

After the last bench fiasco, Jaemin had finally made the decision to take a hiatus. He had recently been diagnosed with anxiety and insomnia so it wasn't a huge deal when he went to tell management that he needed to take a break. They seemed happy with the fact that half the reason NCT Dream almost flopped was going away for awhile. 

He hadn't told a single soul what had happened at the bench and he knew Jeno didn't either, so everyone genuinely thought he was just too overwhelmed. 

It worked out well as Jaemin had been offhandedly complaining about how constantly tired he was. 

The drive back home was short and sweet, as he had turned off his phone and blocked out everything that had happened up until then. The only thought in his mind being he could see his mom and tell her everything that had happened since they had last talked. 

He quickly paid the driver and hopped out of the cab, running with a smile towards the front door of his home, which was already wide open with a thin woman standing in the middle of it with a smile and her arms spread apart.

He jumped in to his mom's arms, throwing his own arms around her and squeezing her tightly, as he felt nothing but comfort course through him. 

"Momma I have so much to tell you," Jaemin whispers as his dad joins the hug.

"I know baby, you haven't called in weeks! How are you feeling? How long are you staying? How has training been? Are your friends still being nice?"

"Momma, please slow down! Let me relax for a bit, I really need it," Jaemin says as he detaches from his mother's arms. 

"I know, I know. Me and your father will leave you alone for a while, go upstairs and call your friends. We'll call you down when dinner's ready," Jaemin's mom says softly as she caresses her son's face.

Jaemin makes his way up to his room and flops on to his bed smiling in to the sheets. He had missed the feeling of being completely alone and free to do what he wanted, and he would savor every second of it. 

He loved being an idol, he loved his fans, he loved making music, he loved dancing, but something about being home and away from everyone, even his group mates felt so freeing. He felt like he could finally breathe again. 

He wasn't aware of his mind shutting down until he was completely unconscious, not waking until his parents called him down for dinner.

By the time he had gotten down there, his mom and dad were already at the table smiling at him. 

He sat down at his usual spot and smiled as he piled food high on to his plate.

"So son, what've you been up too? Getting in to any trouble? Have a secret girlfriend yet?" Jaemin pauses at his dad's words as he glances over at his mom, but quickly goes back to what he was doing.

"No dad, I don't have time for girlfriends I'm way too busy. And besides, I wouldn't want one anyways, we've been over this," Jaemin says quietly, remembering why he waited so long to come back home.

"Shame, I really thought you being introduced to the real world would help change you, guess not," his father says nonchalantly. Jaemin didn't dare show how much his words hurt him, as he pushed his food around his plate, suddenly not hungry at all. 

"Honey, do you really have to do this now? He just got sent home because of stress, you're just making it worse," Jaemin's mom says sternly. 

"I'm not that hungry anymore," Jaemin says as he scoots his seat out from under the table.

Jaemin's mom sighs but doesn't protest as Jaemin makes his way back to his room. He closed his door quietly behind him before sitting down on the edge of his bed, putting his head in his hands.

He should've known his dad's mindset wouldn't've just changed over the span of a few months. 

Jaemin had come out to his parents at the young age of ten. He had always known, it was just a part of him. His dad had never been supportive about it and forbid him to tell anyone else. This of course led to heaping amounts of internalized homophobia that has influenced almost every move he makes. 

His mother on the other hand welcomed it with open arms, and protected Jaemin from his father's backlash from the beginning. 

His father only got physical three times, but each one was burned in to his memory like a brand. He had never wanted to blame his sleep troubles on his father, but there wasn't much else he could pin it too. 

Jaemin heard the soft click of the door opening and looked up to see his mother giving him a sad smile, he returned it with one of his own.

"I'm so sorry, I should've told him to not try anything before you got here," Jaemin's mom says sadly as she softly shuts the door behind her.

"It's not your fault mom, it's mine," Jaemin says chuckling a bit at the irony of it all.

"Don't say that baby. Now, let's get your mind off of your father, he doesn't deserve your time, tell me about everything that's happened," Jaemin's mom says interestedly as she sits beside Jaemin.

"How much time do you have?" Jaemin asks with a small smile.

"I'm all ears my love."

AN: I finally wrote a longish chapter!!! Yay! Comment and tell me what you think!