Death Romanticized

Drowning (In deep ocean water):

The water feels almost too cold against my skin and I can feel my body temperature lowering to reach equilibrium. I can feel the underwater currents against my skin as I revel in the slight ticklish feeling. My lungs feeling too hot from the lack of oxygen and the water slowly trickling into my lungs. Spikes of pain shooting to my brain. With my eyes closed, my brain sends me images and information of people drowning, my heart thumping within my ribcage. Shaking my head and opening my eyes, the murkiness greets me. I first lose feeling in my legs and then the arms and slowly my vision; too cold to feel the pain. An instinctive urge makes me look up, it's one of the most beautiful sights I'll ever see, and one of the last. The bright light beyond the surface shines through the water, turning it gentle and welcoming. I can feel my eyes tear up at the view, holding my breath and wanting to look through the world distorted by water forever.

Cardiac Arrest/ fainting:

It's sudden, briefer than the flicker of candlelight. At that time, invisible chains wrap around your body and blindfold you. You notice that you have lost all your senses; your brain unable to connect to the rest of your body. Your limbs are heavy, you can't breathe, a vague sense of panic lapping at the edge of your consciousness. Your eyes are open with the same expression you had just a moment before. You try to think about the action that could possibly lead up to this event, but your mind is frozen. Your lungs eventually start to burn a little. In this state, you can feel yourself detaching from your physical body, a sense of peace washes over you. In the complete darkness, you have no sense of time, or space, or matter. Your mind is not able to conjure any images; all you have is darkness for company. You wonder if this is what death feels like, your organs are just a little painful, reminding you what it feels like when you were alive. Leaving you to question if this the last time you will see the world?

Burning:

Every part that's on fire is in pain and everything near it is too hot. An instinctive sense tells us to run, to run as fast as you can from this danger, but the logical side understands that it's no help to panic. As you struggle between the mentalities, you feel the skin expanding underneath as the hot air fills up your epidermis. The liquids inside you turn into steam trying to escape the capsule that is your skin. As time goes on, the thin skin layer chars and turns into falling ashes, the liquid underneath; a mix of pus and blood, flows down your body. The fire seals the wounds at the same time it burns; the fire burns away the skin revealing the flesh, fats, and blood underneath and it too was burned. The melting fats turn to oil from the heat, frying you alive. The parts that were close to the fire start to melt, you can feel your face melting down into a puddle. When finally your soul has fled and the fire has cooled down, you remain in rigor mortis as your body stiffens and the aching features solidify into a grotesque sculpture.

Pill poisoning (sleeping pills):

You stare into the mirror, what do you see? Your eyes shift to the cabinet, you understand what's in it, how it will affect you, and you crave it. You open the white cabinet door. A small jar of pills sits dully within. You reach for it and open it, placing a few on your palm. Staring down, a slight hesitation freezes you, should I do this? You put it in your mouth. You feel a little bit better. Life is too hard. You grab another handful. Gulp. Gulp. No one likes you. Gulp. They will all die anyway. Gulp. Just sleep away the pain. Gulp. Gulp. You step away from the jar, a hand on your head. You walk away and into the bedroom, items strewn about the room. You climb into bed and pull on the covers. The hope that everything will be better in your dreams lull you into sleep. Everything's better when you're dreaming.

Ran over:

It's dark out, you've been hanging on the street for a couple of hours, pacing back and forth. There are hardly any people out, you can't remember when there ever was. Every day was the same, repetitive, spectacle, you tire of it. The dim street light reminds you of the haze, the mind-numbness, the boredom, the desperation, the lack of direction. That was all you had, the emotions that bogged you down and left you stranded on a lonely island. Finally, you see the headlights from afar, you turn to face the car with a smile on your face, from sadness or relief they will never find out. When it finally speeds down towards you, it's too late, they can't stop, their force plows you through the torso. The thrill, the stimulation, the sensation takes your head out of the clouds for a moment. And finally, finally, the pain that you've ever felt meets clarity. A minuscule yet impressive moment, you've felt that you were alive.