Change of Law and Heart

Chapter 38: Upcoming Problems

Mentions of sexual content in this chapter! They don't do it in this chapter though! Also... I don't know what you mean that I nearly forgot to update my books...

Thoughts were rushing through my head and nothing seemed to calm them down. The twins were off doing training with Hide and were forced to leave by my lonesome. Was a smart idea to leave the terrified woman to herself with no one to help calm her down? No, it definitely wasn't smart in any way to do so.

My hands started to tremble lightly and fear slowly sunk past any emotional barriers. The dogs were still back at home and were part of the small group that had a chance of bring me out of this state. Sides and Sunny were nowhere close to me, not even in sight. I couldn't bear to be around people.

On that Decepticon ship, I could have died. Before meeting any of the Autobots and growing closer to Will and the others; I would've of thought that no one would come to save me from my doom. There would be no care in the world to me if I died. That completely changed when I realized my love for the twins.

Someone, or two of them, I cared for deeply and would risk my life for as well. The twins had showed me what real love is and helped keep my fear down for it. My mother had scared me about love; it was what killed her in the end.

"Lil' lady, ya alrigh' there?" I heard the familiar voice of a special bot. I snapped my gaze up at him in surprise then realized what he asked and nodded my head. Not a sound came from me though, my thoughts taking over my mind again. "Ya sure. Ya don't look all tha' well to meh."

I hummed and tried to focus on the T.V in front of me. That plan failed as a shot of pain hit me on the of my head. Again, with these stupid not-mine emotions. It was the fifth time this week. One time, it happened three times a day which was hard explain to the twins of how I didn't feel anything. I don't believe my innocent game was going to last much longer.

Ratchet was scary on one of his good days. If he learned of what was happening, especially me keeping it a secret for so long, all hell would break lose. I didn't want to face, that was the last thing I wanted to do.

"Brey?" the sound of Jazz's voice brought me back to reality. Jazz's face was much closer than before and he was kneeling down in front of me. I was sitting on top of the 'coffee table' for the Autobots. It's the perfect height for me jump down from. Getting back up to here, that was a different story. "Ya know wha', ah gunna bring ya ta Ratch. Ya worryin' meh."

That caught my attention. I jumped to my feet and backed away from Jazz's servo with my hands out in a futile attempt to stop him. "I'm fine, Jazz. I just have a lot on my mind. And it doesn't help that Hide needed the twins. They seem to be the only thing keeping me sane at the moment," I retorted.

Jazz stopped moving and nodded his helm. "Ya could've just said tha'. If ya need uh bot ta chat with, my office is always open. Now, wha's on your processor?" He sat down on the concrete in front of me and rested his arms on his knees. I gazed at him confused on his actions. "Don't give meh tha look. I'm all audio receptors. Just say what's weight ya down."

Would it best to talk to him? Could I tell him about the weird transfer of emotions, which included pain somehow? I stared straight at his visor and contemplated whether or not to tell him.

A sigh escaped me. I sat back down on the metal and buried my face in my hands. "Jazz, I'm not use to the twin's affection. A part of me wants to fight it, fight against them. And I do, I don't like to be showered in love or affection. Neither of those things I received as a child," I started with a little part of the problem.

"An' why do ya fight agains' wha' is good?" he threw at me and seemed to raise a brow. Hard to tell under his visor.

Fear gripped my heart when he said those words. "I... uh I don't believe... in love. My mom... was killed by one of her many boyfriends and was found in a ditch." An involuntary shiver ran down the length of my spine, remembering what happened to my mother.