Apocalypse

13:Departures

"Do you want to tell me what that was?!" Jim yelled.

"Jim-" I stopped. Maybe it was better that I told him. It wasn't like it was going to work out between us anyway.

"I kissed her first."

I turned around and saw Ryan standing at the edge of the hill. Jim's eyes raged with fury.

"Ryan-"

"She was talking about getting married to you, and I was jealous. She was just so perfect. So I kissed her."

"Son of a-"

Jim lunged at Ryan and punched his face repeatedly. I ran after them, but when I reached them, Jim had kicked Ryan down the hill. He tumbled and I saw blood smears on the ground.

"Jim!"

He stomped into the house and I ran down the hill.

Ryan laid at the bottom, motionless. I checked his pulse, Jim hadn't beat him to death, that's good.

"It could've been you." He croaked.

A tear dripped down my cheek onto his chest. His eye was puffy, his lip split, and his cheek had a large bruise.

"Don't leave me."

"I have to now."

I cried into his chest.

"You need to go."

"I'm not leaving you." I cried.

"You have to. It's the only way to keep you safe. Get up."

"No."

He reached up and cupped my face in his hand. "I will never stop loving you."

I held his hand and kissed it.

"But you need to leave. You need to go to your family and stay with them. You need to let me go. Do it for me."

I backed away slightly and helped him get up.

"Take this." He lifted a pair of dog tags off of his neck and handed them to me.

"Goodbye, Arizona."

He walked up the hill and I saw him take his bag out of a tent and walk away.

I curled up on the sand and cried. Nothing had ever hurt more in my life. Not Debbi's death, not having to marry Jim, not having to live with the apocalypse. I just let him go. How could I do that?! I needed to stop him. I would do anything to get him back, to spend one more moment with him, one more kiss, one more look at his beautiful face.

I got up and ran up the hill. There was nobody in sight. I ran into the trees and looked around. I circled the entire camp. He was gone.

I collapsed into tears on the ground. I was going to die. I couldn't live without him. I was going to kill myself. I couldn't live with the pain. The pain of not having the only person you loved in this world gone.

I felt small arms hug me from behind. I turned and saw my frail mother holding me. I sobbed into her shoulder.

"I know how you feel." She whispered.

She knew exactly how I felt. And she had a child when dad left her. She knew how it felt to feel lost, to feel dead.

"How did you get through this? Losing the one you love?" I sobbed.

"It wasn't the only person I loved, I had you."

"But I don't have a kid."

"No, I mean you have other people you love."

Was she telling me to give up on him and move on? I don't think I could do that.

"And what if I can't find anyone else? I have you and Rachel and Whitney yes but I will never find anyone I love as much as I love him."

"Well then you better come up with a plan to find him."

***

The next morning, I walked down to the lake to clean off. This was going to be my last day at home before I went off to find Ryan.

"Arizona."

I turned and saw Jim standing at the edge of the water. I took a deep breath.

"I need to know the truth about last night."

I started back up the hill. I didn't know what I was going to say.

"Don't walk away from me!" He yelled.

I felt him pull at my arm.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I noticed he wasn't here this morning, he left?"

I turned around.

"Because of me?" He asked again.

I stood there and stared at him.

"Fine. Don't answer me. But I deserve an answer on one thing. Do you love me?"

He wasn't the love of my life. I didn't love him like that. I loved him more like a sibling, or family, maybe like a second cousin or something. The point is, it wasn't a strong love. But after what he did yesterday, I was done.

"You are sick, you are violent, and you have major anger issues. You are a brat and a child. You never think about anyone but yourself." It all came out. Everything I had been holding in over the past years came out.

Tears filled his eyes. "So Ryan was lying."

I nodded.

He ran his tongue over his teeth and nodded his head.

"You know, you could've saved me the time. Saved me the sorrow. You could've just told me you didn't love me before I knelt down on a friggin knee for you. You are just as cold hearted as I am. For just putting me down like that. I loved you, and you admitting that you don't love me back really hurts me. Knowing that you had a relationship with another man...." His voice trailed off.

He was right. I was a cold hearted person. I knew that even before his speech. But people change you. Everyone is always changing. People are going to make you feel like crap and some people will make you feel like a million dollars. It just matters who it is.

"Jim, I'm sorry. I really am. You are one hundred percent right. I should've been honest with you. I should've told you how I really felt. I am wholeheartedly sorry."

"I just need one last thing." He walked up to me and kissed me hard on the lips. He was angry. Fuming. I couldn't describe the anger I felt in him.

I pulled away. "I'm sorry I don't love you."

I walked back up the hill.

***

"Mom." I whispered.

She woke up with a start.

"I'm leaving."

She sat up and gave me a hug.

"Good luck." She whispered. "And if you ever need anything, you can always come back. Nobody will judge you, I will be sure of that."

I pulled away and kissed her on the cheek.

I got up and walked out of her tent. I was going to have to walk with the starlight.

I started to make my way to the forest when a large hand covered my mouth.

I scratched and clawed at the burly figure that shoved me to the ground. I saw Jim pinning me down on the ground. I pried his hand off.

"What are you doing?" I gasped.

"You can't leave."

"You can't stop me."

"I think I just did."

"I'll scream."

He put his hand back over my mouth.

"I'm sorry but I can't let you go."

I saw another set of hands over my head, holding a large rock.

They came swinging down then everything went black.