Daffodils, Daisys, and Drinks ((Bagginsheild AU))

Nine

  Bilbo POV

  He held me while I cried, releasing a millions of slick tears into the front of the navy shirt covering his torso. Thorin.. Thorin was upset too, but he didn't know Lumerian like I did. The person taking his death the worse was Kili, but he was too strong to show it. Me though? It was just the overblow of air in the balloon.

  I just popped. I blew up, spewing emotions with me. It had been around a month since Lumerians passing, and some days I was totally happy, but other days I had to take off work because I was so upset, some days I was just so angry. Thank the higher power for Sam, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, and Thorin. Without them I don't know where I would be.

  I had grown closer to Thorin, he was my rock. Although he appeared strong to me I knew he would cry sometimes. Sometimes over Lu, sometimes over Kili's not-so-well hidden depression.

  I wrote Lumerian a letter for closure. It was buried with him, along with a couple dozen marigolds. They were his favorite..

  "Bilbo." Thorin's deep voice mad my face vibrate because it was pressed against his chest. "Can I ask you something?" I nodded, sniffling. "Remember the first time we met and we got a drink together at the pub? What did you think of me?"

  Not the question I was expecting. I sighed and thought, "I thought you were nice and that I would love to be friends with you." I said honestly.

  Thorin nodded, "What do you think of me now."

  I leaned back, wiping my tear stained face. "I think it was the best decision to speak to you, I think you're amazing. I think you're the best for helping me through this stuff. I think you're strong but can be weak sometimes. And I think that.." I sighed. Letting my heart beat quicken. "That I love you."

  It wasn't me that said that aloud. It was the emotions.. The fear, the pain, the hopelessness. When I was with Thorin I felt safety, happiness, hope. Maybe I did say it.. Just maybe.

  I took a glance at Thorin who looked shocked, confused even. "Bilbo I-"

  "You don't need to reject me.." I whispered, interrupting his sentence.

  Thorin looked down at me, sparkling eyes watching me closely. "You didn't let me finish, okay? What I was trying to say is that I think.. I think I love you too." He pressed his lips to my forehead. For the first time in a long time, I just wanted to smile.

  I wanted to smile forever.

    That's what Lumerian would have wanted. He wanted us to be happy.

      Around a month later.

  Smaug had left, defeat ringing through him like that of an old black bell. I spent my time with Thorin and at Lumerians grave, talking to the headstone like it was really Lumerian. Kili spent time with me as well, becoming my closest friend. I currently laid with Thorin in the dark, woken up by a nightmare. The nightmare was like all the others.

  It showed Thorin dying in Lumerians place, and my last words were always I hate you. But I could never say I hate you to Thorin, never. "Halfling?" Thorin asked as I had woken him with my stirring.

  "I'm fine, trust me. It was just a bad dream, that's all." I whispered with a smile. I snuggled into Thorin, inhaling his scent of matches and wild animal. He draped an arm around me and allowed me to grip the fabric of his shirt tightly.

  He leaned down closer to me, whispering few words that made me feel safe. "I'll protect you, my young halfling."

((Okay so fluff and finally some love. I feel like this is coming to a much needed end. I can tell I don't have a lot of readers and I also don't have a lot of inspiration. I doubt you all will mind. I've just been a bit depressed, so that's why I've had a hella long hiatus.))