"Laura!" I called after her. she was sitting on a bench at the near by park feeding some pigeons bread 🍞. her monkae husband was sitting on the ground, snatching up the pieces of bread and shoving them into his mouth.
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"It's you! I know what you've done." I yelled at her.
"Oh really, and what have i done now?" she said while debby ryaning.
"Oh i dont know... maybe murdered three people!" I told her.
"I don't understand." she told me, putting a hand to her forehead. "I would never!"
It was at that moment that out of the bush jumped my husband, joe biden. I screamed and when I saw that alvin was standing beside him, and not only that but he had grown to be only inches shorter than my husband.
"How- what?" I was shocked.
"I suppose I must explain." Biden admitted. "It all began, when I decided to run for president... I was sure there was no way i could win and I was heart broken by that fact. That was until I met someone who promised me victory, all i had to do was eliminate my opponents. So, one by one i murdered trump, bernie, and obama. I was payed by my employer and I won the election." he told me, doing the debby ryan at the end.
"Are you kidding me?!" i yelled. "after all this searching and looking for clues, it was my own husband who was the culpret?!"
"You have to understand why i did it darling, it was for us, for our family." he gestured to the now 5'6 alvin.
"No! after this is all over we are so getting a divorce, i just need to know, who employed you?" I asked.
"It was me." I was confused at first but then I looked at alvin.
"ALVIN?? IT WAS YOU? FIRST MY HUSBAND AND NOW MY OWN SON?!" I screeched.
"Oh but you have it all wrong," alvin told me, "I'm not alvin, and i never was." At that moment Alvin unzipped the zipper going from the top of his head to his stomach and in his place was none other than tanya cortez.
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"T- T- Tanya??" I said nervously.
"Don't call me that!" She snapped. "I am ms. cortez to you."
I was stunned. My math teacher was behind all of this?
"But... why?" I asked in disbelief.
"Revenge." she stated. "You remember that math test you never even attempted back in eighth grade?" I nodded nervously "Remember all those missing assignments?" I nodded again "this is payback." Without warning she started throwing bread at me, I tried to dodge it but I wasn't fast enough, it was about to hit me in the face when George came slowmotion jumping in front of my face. He was hit by the bread and fell to the floor, death was upon him.
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"NOOOOOO" Laura cried out in agony, meanwhile tanya looked satasfied.
"It's all going according to plan." she said to herself.
Then, she unzipped the costume that was apparently ms. cortez and it was finally revealed who the true culprit was.
Where's. Waldo.
"MWAHAHAHAHA" He cackled.
"OK WHAT??" I screamed.
"MY EVIL PLAN WORKED! Now that George is gone me and Laura can finally get married, just like I've always wanted."
"Um no lol, I'm marrying Luna." Laura said while debby ryaning for like the fourtyith time.
"Ok but can we talk about how this story has absolutely no plot and waldo's master plan was terrible?" I asked genuinely.
"Tbh i don't really care at this point." It was then that Luna Lovegood swung down out of no where on a vine in a tarzan like fashion and snatched laura up off the sidewalk.
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Just before laura and luna were out of sight I heard them call out "later losers" and they were gone.
This left me and Waldo staring awkwardly at eachother.
"hey wait where did biden go?" He asked.
"Ummm... I honestly couldn't tell you."
"should we just end the story?" I asked.
"Yeah probably."
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