𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐫. ⁽⁽⁽ᵐᵃᵗᵗʸ ʰᵉᵃˡʸ⁾⁾⁾

forbidden fruit.*

'Is this too much? Are you-'

'I'm so into it,' I cut Matty off, eagerly tugging at his hoodie to bring him even closer. 'Don't worry.'

Even as his hands gripped my waist, I willed them to wander, to feel and explore every inch of my skin. But he knew how to pace himself, pausing to yank the hoodie off over his head and diving back to kiss down my neck, sucking lightly at the skin behind my ear. If I was making out with Saul, it was just part of his purpose for me, in my mind. I couldn't have told you what music he listened to, what interested him or how he actually spent most of his days. It felt safer by now to undress someone, touch them, have them touch me and summon an orgasm, if there was no investment in the person themselves. So when Matty and I clutched at one another and blindly pushed the dynamic of our friendship into another realm, it felt transgressive in a whole other way. Enjoying him physically was like eating some kind of forbidden fruit, and I wanted to savour it for all it was worth.

'Sit down,' I muttered into his mouth. He pulled away, dropping onto the sofa obediently. I moved onto his lap, kneeling on the sofa cushions either side of him, pushing his hair roughly back and revelling in the looks of bare-faced lust we were finally able to exchange. I sat deeper into his lap, feeling the bulge in his jeans press into my thigh. 'Was it me last time as well?'

'Of course,' he grinned. 'What else did you think it was?'

'The titillation of being looked at? Performing?'

'That does turn me on sometimes.' His hands squeezed my arse, pulling me against him. 'But no. You were sitting on me, Alma. Like now.'

'Do you like that dynamic?' I asked curiously. 'Being watched? Being told what to do?'

'I like all sorts, I can switch it up. I'm open-minded.'

Sometimes I was fascinated by the thought of ceding power, though usually I bossed men around. With Matty, I enjoyed the way he wanted to please, the way his attention fixated on me. But I enjoyed giving him free rein too, and letting him take pleasure in me. 'What do you want right now?'

'First, I want to see you.' His hands fumbled with the buttons of my blouse. 'I could look at you all day.'

Funny, I wanted to reply, I can say the same about you. But that seemed just slightly too on the nose. So I helped him along, shrugging the silk material off my shoulders as his fingers traced the edge of my bra; I always did wear nice underwear. I watched him press hot, open-mouthed kisses to my chest, and buried my nose in his hair, tangling my own fingers in the ringlets at the nape of his neck. The elastic around my ribcage lifted, exposing my breasts to the cool air, and then his tongue flickered over one nipple and the stimulation began to make my thoughts incoherent. 'Matty,' I gasped, tightening my grip in his hair momentarily. He drew his head back and stared adoringly up at me, wearing an almost drunken expression of lust, his lips parted obscenely.

'Huh?' He watched me pull back, unclasping my bra and shuffling off him, rocking back onto my heels. I unbuttoned his fly deftly and laid a hand over his cock where it swelled beneath the taut material of his underwear, wrapping my fingers around it tightly, taking pleasure in sizing him up. 'Fuck,' he muttered under his breath.

Matty looked at me so beseechingly that I took pity on him and tugged the material back until it released his cock, obscene and divine all at once. I glanced performatively between the pink tip, with its light sheen of precum, and his awestruck face, rolling saliva onto my tongue and letting it drip down onto his erection. He made an unintelligible noise from low in his throat, and as he convulsed reflexively, I felt a flush of satisfaction.