Love vs. Anxiety

Chapter 1

Unfortunate

"Okay Jen, you got this"I motivated myself in my mind, sighing heavily as I entered the huge and proud gate of Belton University.

Its a hard college to get in, but miraculously I passed. Well, at least I have a consolation now that at least I'm not as dumb as I thought?

I can tell my family is proud of me for it, even though they didn't congratulate me. But-- I just can't get myself to be happy.

I am always anxious for everything.

I am scared to experience the same life I had back when I was in highschool.

I held the straps of my backpack so tight as I walk my way through the corridors.

I made sure to memorize my room numbers from my school map. I have it in my bag right now, but I don't wanna take it out because that would literally scream 'Hey! Freshman here!' if I do that. And I don't wanna get any attention on me.

Thats the last thing that I would want for I'm already anxious as it is.

I swear I made sure to get here an hour early to avoid crowds, but the corridors now are already filled with so much students passing by.

When I pass my way through, so many students keep bumping on me! I don't know why.

Hey! I know I'm a small potato for my age but still , how could they not see me and bump on me every time.

I'm trying to avoid it but it keeps happening.

First day had just started and it's already turning bad for me!-.-

I mentally noted to wake up at 4 am next time to avoid this from happening again.

After of what it feels like years, I managed to pass my way through the crowds and fortunately I found a bathroom on my way.

Before I could even manage to get in, someone accidentally bumped from me from behind.

My eyeglass fell and I swear I heard it breaking! Omg.

Is this coincedence or the people here are all discreetly bullying me?! (T.T)

"I'm sorry" I heard a man's voice. I was already busy "blind-finding" my specs with my hands but when I heard that voice I was automatically freezed from what I'm doing.

I'm hoping hard its not who I think it is.

Luckily my hands found my already broken specs that luckily is still intact. My eyes frantically searched from left to right to see who that was as my heart boomed so loud from sudden fear.

I breathed shakily holding the straps of my backpack tighter than before

"Come on Jen, you are literally 7 hrs away from your bullies . They can't follow you here" I convinced myself on my mind .

I've been talking to myself a lot on my mind recently!Ugh this life.

I decided to just move on, and finally go in to the bathroom hoping to freshen up and calm myself down from the raging anxiety I'm feeling.

When I entered the room. I saw guys peeing --

Wait..GUYS?! O.O

When the guy who is peeing saw me , he automatically cursed and hurriedly zipped his pants.

Before they all can say a word I ran for my life to save my face from the embarassment!

Oh nooo!Did I just enter inside mens bathroom?! T.T God

I catched some of the crowds eyes because of my crazy running but who cares!

I'm out of breath as I reached what it seemed to be a school field.

Damn this first day!I just wanna go home and lock myself up in my room (T.T)

The air blew gently as if its trying to hug me. I closed my eyes to feel the comfort of it. The tense I felt a while ago slowly vanishing.

I found myself a bench.I took the oppurtunity to gape at the field. Its so wide and the grasses are cutted evenly that makes it look so neat, there's also two soccer nets.

What makes it special is the trees and mountain view you can see beyond the field and the mountain view looks so peaceful to look at too.

I enjoyed the moment while it lastes and guess what ? it only lasted for few seconds.

To my dismay, there's already a group of guys entered the field who by the way look like some usual athlete characters from books who makes girls cry, with their hunk and cute looks.

But that's not what caught my eyes.

It's Dylan! Dylan is with them! I gaped more to make sure I'm not seeing things because of my broken glasses.

That piercing black eyes. Stoic face. And calculated move.

My eyes widened when he suddenly looked my way.

I turned my back immediately, retreating myself to the exit. I was 'walking running' like a stupid robot.

When I got a bit far from their sight. I blew a tremendous amount of air I was holding and held my chest.

Please tell me he didn't recognize me! (T.T)

Dylan, is not one of my bullies however he is friends with their group. And I swore back there at the bathroom earlier I heard Sebastian! My greatest bully.

I mean I still haven't confirmed but now that I saw Dylan, I fear that Sebastian is also here. I already memorized his voice for his deadly threats that manages to play in mind like a broken record even up to this day.

How can I not when he didnt only hurted emotionally but also physically.

I continued my steps knowing that the clock wont wait for me to get over and I still have classes.

And that day I found out that Dylan is my blockmate..