𝘚𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘭 𝘛𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘦 (Dazai Osamu X Reader)

~𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 4~

     I woke up feeling cold this time... Dazai wasn't there. He was gone. I checked the time only to see that it was 6:00am. Crap I have work today.

     I woke up from the empty bed and got ready for work. I had a long shift to go through. I exited the apartment and started walking to the small café where I was working. The streets were full of people due to the fact that it was Monday. Everyone one was rushing to get to their work. I was one of them.  Society is just like that. No one knows the struggles of each person they pass by. Everyone walks past you. They all look down. We don't look at each other.

     Something really convenient was that my workplace was near Dazai's apartment. Everything became easier when he entered my life. I had a place I could call my home, I had food in my plate and a bed to sleep on. All that would have to end soon though. My journey in life was coming to an end and I would finally rest in peace...

     I entered the café, startimg my long shift. Today the cafe seemed to be more busy, as many new customers had come to get their daily cup of coffee. The café had never been so busy before and I found it overwhelming.

      I had been working for so many hours that I lost track of time. Dazai had been on my mind for the past hours. Where was he off to so early in the morning? I hope he'll be there when I get home.
    I finished my shift for today. It was already dark outside... I was walking through the dark alleys, trying to remember where his apartment was located. After many wrong turns and streets, I finally found it. The lights were still turned off, meaning that Dazai hadn't come home yet.

    He had gave me the keys of his apartment so I inserted the key and entered the apartment. Everything was just as I left it. Where the hell is he? I sat on the couch and grabbed a book from the bookshelf in attempt to distract myself. It wasn't working... My mind kept wandering, think of where Dazai could have been all these hours.

   
    All of a sudden, I heard a loud knock in the door. If it was Dazai, wouldn't he have a key? My heart rate got faster at the thought of someone breaking in the house. Then, I heard a voice out of the blue. It was weedy...

"Y/N..."

  My heart beat sped up when I heard the stranger out of the door calling my name.

"Who are you?" I asked waiting for his reply.

"It's... Dazai..."

  He said now a little bit louder for me to hear. It really was Dazai. I calmed down when I made sure it was Dazai.

"...Open...the...door."

"Okay hold on"

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WARNING: BL0OD AND SC4RS 

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   The moment I opened the door, Dazai colapsed on the floor, staining it with blood. His white bandages had turned red due to the blood. I stayed still. I couldn't move. The sight in front of me was just too cruel. He was suffering on the floor and I just stood there...

'Come on y/n move!' I kept telling my self but wouldn't move.

   I eventually managed to take a step forward. Stepping on the small pond of blood on the floor, I tried my very best to lift him and take him to the bath room so I can take care of his wounds.

   I placed his hand on my shoulder and dragged him to the batchroom. I brought a stool for him to sit since he obviously couldn't stand. I washed his face which was stained with blood, his eyes remaining closed. Did he faint?

    I placed both my hands on his cheeks and looked at him from up close. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just take off his bandages. His eyes suddenly opened, assuring me that he was okay. We made eye contact. We were looking at eachother persistently. He was suffering. I could see it in his eyes. No wonder he wants to die...

"Hey y/n..." he said, his voice soft and calm.

"Yeah?"

"Do you... remember the conversation we had yesterday?"

"Which one?"

"The one about the bandages..."

"Oh Yeah, I remember."

"Can you... change my bandages?"

  
   I completely froze at his words. He wanted me? To change his bandages? Out of all people, he chose me?

"Are you sure that you're okay with that?"

"...Yeah..."

"Okay." I said, proceeding to help him.

   His bandages were soaked in blood and they were hard to take off. 'How can he wear them all the time?' I kept thinking as I cut his bloody wound dressings away with scissors. His hands were dripoing blood and they had many scars, both new and old ones. It was sad. He had so many scars... They were countless at this point. I placed him in the shower, washing the scars on his hands carefully but his bandages were covering most of his body.

"Hey Dazai..." I said calmly, waiting for his response.

"Yes?" He looked at me with his tired-looking eyes.

"Can I remove your shirt? I can't take off the rest of the bandages on your upper body with your shirt on." I said shyly.

"Yes you can... I wish I had the energy to tease you now."

    He said smiling. He couldn't laugh because it'd hurt with allt hese wounds. He must've had a mission with the port mafia.

   I removed his shirt carefully not to cause him pain and I cut through his wound dressing, revealing his chest and stomach which were full of scars, cuts and blood. My eyes widened at the sight of his body. It looked like thousands of blades had passed through him. No wonder why he wears bandages all the time. I let the water flow, cleaning his wounds at the same time. I hitched up his pants a little bit so I could clean change the bandages on his legs. That guy had so many bandages...

     I changed all of his bandages and dragged him to the bed. He looked so tired so I decided to ask him tommorow about all this. I'll let him sleep on the bed for today and I'll sleep on one of the couches. He'll be in awful pain if we happen to hug eachother in our sleep again.

"Where are you going?" I heard his toned-down voice.

"To sleep on the couch."  I answered honestly.

"Won't you sleep here?"

"You and I both know why I'll be sleeping on the couch."

"Goodnight..." He said, drifting off.

"Goodnight Dazai." I said and I exited the bedroom.

    The couch was really uncomfortable but I had to endure it for Dazai. I know that he would do the same for me...