Jaded

[41] Survivor

"You already knew, didn't you?" Atty asks.

It's the first full sentence he's said in the past five minutes, ever since we trudged through the scratched glass door of this run-down ice cream shop and settled across each other in a booth at the back.

The lighting here is better than I expected for a place this old, so much so that I can clearly see the irritation etched deep into Atty's every feature.

I could play dumb and pretend not to know what he's talking about, but I feel as if we're both way past that point. Instead, I sigh, drumming my fingers on the spotted turquoise table between us. "Will you feel better if I say no?"

He shakes his head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because Jay asked me not to. He's my friend and I care about him. Do you think I should've told you?"

Atty grumbles, crossing his arms. "No... I don't know, yes?" He clenches his jaw before taking a deep breath. "It's just... I don't get it. Why didn't he tell me?"

"Probably because he was worried you'd interfere."

"Of course I would!"

I raise an eyebrow. "Why? Isn't it better if Jay's with Leo? He's going to find someone to be with regardless, so isn't it better if he's with someone you know really well?"

"That's not the point. That's not- this isn't okay." Atty sighs again and rubs the bridge of his nose. In all the time we've been here he's yet to touch his ice cream.

Though it's not like I've been munching on mine either.

I reach across the table, placing my hand over his. "Then what is the point? What's upsetting you so much? Because I know you're not the kind of guy that gets this worked up just because someone kept a secret from you."

Atty remains silent, his gaze fixed on something just past my shoulder. Eventually, he furrows his eyebrows and explains, "Jay's too young. He's only 15. He's going to get hurt-"

"So?"

My interruption seems to surprise him since Atty immediately leans back, lips slightly parted. "What... what do you mean, so?"

I fiddle with my spoon, twirling around my now half-melted caramel ice cream. "I mean, that's life. You get hurt, you learn, you move on."

"But if I can prevent the hurt, then shouldn't I?"

"No, because then you break the process. You stop the learning."

"There are other ways to learn, Jade."

"Not for the things that matter, Atty."

I'm expecting a quick response, some kind of a witty retort or a sarcastic remark. But instead, he slips into that upsetting gloomy silence again.

I wait, hoping he'll say something. The long hand on the tilted clock behind Atty clicks away and customers in the shop sweep by. A frazzled mom comes in with four children, one of whom drops her entire cone as soon as gets it. The mess gets cleaned up, the girl gets a new cone, and the family leaves. Atty remains quiet. 

Through the clear storefront windows on our left, I count every time the signal at the intersection changes.

I've reached eleven by the time I can't handle it anymore. My ice cream has now become soup and I'm certain Presley will begin blasting my phone with calls anytime now since everyone back at the house seems to be thinking we left to get them treats (not to handle what I thought was a drama grenade).

"Atticus," I begin slowly, keeping my voice low. "What's this about? I knew you'd be upset when you found out, but this feels different. What's going on?"