Sweet Creature

7 0 0

by sunnyspray

by sunnyspray

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Plot: Louis is dead and Harry thinks it was his fault, so he wants to do his funeral eulogy.

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"He was there. Not always, of course not. But I knew he would always be there when I needed him. He promised. And he awlays keeped his promises.

That's one of the thousand reasons I loved him. I loved him with all my heart. I knew he loved me too, somehow. I don't think he knew, but he did. There were so many things showing me that he did.

The way he talked to me, so gentle and his voice filled with love, he only talked to me this way. The way he looked at me, when he thought I wouldn't notice. Of course I did. I always did.

The way he stroked my hair when I was lying on his lap, trying to sleep while he was watching a movie that I didn't like.

The way he defended me, when some stupid homophobic guys would make fun of me. The way he learned cooking, to have breakfast finished when I woke up.

The way he stopped using the shower for hours to make sure there's hot water left for me. All these little things showed me that he loved me. And I'm so glad that I am the one to light up a fire inside those beatiful blue eyes, when I walked in the room.

Oh these eyes, I feel like I could sink into them. They're deeper than every ocean. I feel like he could look inside my soul, and discover every little secret I tried to keep from him, when I would've had those.

He was just so pure and sweet and beautiful and I was just so happy to call him mine. He was mine. And he would always be. I told him, every day. He needed to know that.

Because even he was the most beautiful and handsome guy I could imagine, he was so insecure about himself.

About the crinkles that build up around his eyes when he smiled, but I loved them. The little tummy he always had, no matter how hard he worked out.
I thought it was adorable.

His little laughs and chuckles he let out, whenever something funny happened. His hight, he wasn't exactly tall, but he had the perfect shape for me to spoon him, when he was sick or when he needed some cuddles.

The way he can't go to sleep without a cup of tee, he hated that. He thought it was emberassing and a girls thing. I knew it wasn't, it was the cutest thing ever, but he never believed me when I told him.

He was so insecure about his whole being and I still don't know for what. Because to me, he was so unbelievable perfect. I just wanted to be with him all the time. I still want, more than anything else. Louis William Tomlinson was my best friend."

At this point, I couldn't keep my tears inside. My voice was shaking so bad that I didn't think I could say one more word. But I had to. That's at least what I could do.

He died for me. It was all my fault, so at least I could speek up for him at his funeral. So that's where I was right now, telling all the strangers about my feelings for him.

I don't think he would want them all to be here. He would've wanted this to be private. His family should come. His closest friends, the band. But one of them didn't even show up. He didn't show up on his performance on the Xfactor when Louis mom passed away, and so he didn't show up to his own funeral.

I'm not mad at him. I can understand him, someway. I mean, who couldn't? Zayn lost his best friends, his brothers and his family when he left the band. I think he just wasn't able to handle the pain without breaking completely down. I never wanted that.

I just wanted things to be normal again. But they wouldn't. Things would never be normal again. Because Louis was dead. He was fucking dead and wasn't able to handle the pain either. Zayn lost his brother, but I lost the love of my life. And I needed my best friend to help me go through this.

And I would make him come back. I was brought back from my own little world when I heard the heavy sobs from Niall. Apart from myself, he was always the most sensitive one. Louis was his everything, he loved him the most from all of us.

I can totally understand him, I guess, he was the favorite of everyone. I could never see Niall cry. He was our little baby, that no one wants to be sad. I could start crying all over again from just seeing our little leprachaun like that.

Liam was sitting beside him, holding him tightly and squeezing his hands to comfort him.
He was crying silently for himself, but I knew he was screaming inside. I could see from the look on their faces that my words were really reaching his heart.

I had to continue with my speech, I had to finish it. Although I wasn't sure if I was able to, I tried my best.

"At the same time he was the love of my life. I will never forget all the beautiful moments I had with him, even though I've only known him for this small amount of time.

Ten years were just way too short to be with him. A whole lifetime wouldn't be enough. I don't think I will ever find someone so perfectly imperfect as Lou again.

My Lou. I remember how he pretended to hate being called Lou from me back in the Xfactor days. Later he told me he pretended that so I would do it more often.

He wasn't really able to show affection, he was always emberassed of his own feelings and emotions. The more time we spent together, the more he developed. At the very end, he was able to show his emotions to everyone and being comfortable with it.

I remember his last words, he whispered an 'I love you' to me. That was first and last time I was able to hear the three words from him. I'm not sure if he heard me when I told him that I loved him too, but I hope so.

And I want him and you all to know, that I will always love him. Because it was always him. My sweet creature. So, now it's my turn to say it. You're always in my heart, Louis Tomlinson. Yours sincerely, Harry."