Anatomy Of A Broken Heart Part 3: Inside The "Soul-Ties"

Chapter one: Chemistry Fuse

You ever thought somebody was meant for you? I mean like it was a soul tie you couldn't explain? I felt like he was meant for me, it was a meaning for us to meet again. You know some people overuse the word "toxic" then there are some people that are just all the way toxic and you can't help them. This all rushed into my head as I turned my head and opened my eyes to bright sunlight. It was a typical Tuesday and literally all I could do it stare at the sunlight in my room before I lifted my body up. I just kept remembering things, memories, and flashbacks. For some reason, the story was not really a bad one to tell. Sometimes when there are bad people good people outweigh them. This story is literally that. Outweighing the bad, and the bad trying to outweigh the good. I'll tell it when I get out of this bed. I raised my body as my bones cracked of relief. I walked to the bathroom and the door hinges made a funny noise that probably woke up my daughter. Then I peeked at myself in the mirror, beautiful chocolate young women. My name Katrina, something different I guess my mom thought it was cute for my liking because I had these chinky eyes to match my kinky hair and my unique tone of chocolate. Melanin is amazing and so is every other shade. I began to start the shower. When I got in the shower steam began to open my tired eyes and the hot water hit my face and hair. An hour later, I was fully dressed waiting for my daughter to finish getting ready for school. She's 6, but she act 16, her mouth is horrible she tells everybody everything gets done her way. My story is going to start now. My introduction is my present the rest of the book is past events. 

Now we're going back to our soul ties, about a year and a half ago I thought I had one. People can pretend to be anything they want to be. I think it's just a Gemini thing. I'm going to call this one Gemini. Yes, I had nothing, no name to call this young man that's how suckish this situation was. It was a rainy day in August, I was busy doing shoots for my business, I had no models so I had to model with my friends. It was a busy day, Brooklyn was feeling gloomy that day in Canarsie. Being by the water would make it cloudy and muggy mostly because it was still August. I was going through it with my ex-boyfriend, I decided to inbox numerous people back. There was this one inbox that caught my attention because it was sort of rude but flattering. It was: "I hope you stay heartbroken because you ignoring me in your inbox." I had to chuckle a bit and respond to him once in a while. This is just the beginning of what I'd like to call an internet relationship, there were moments I thought the boy was a fake page or at least a catfish cause I never saw him but we saw each other on facetime so I knew he was real. I just don't know why expected so much from that kid, the reason I say that is because I had a feeling we could've been together for a while. Only because we had a solid connection. It was just something different well, that's what I thought. It was so smooth and easy to talk to him about anything. I guess you can say that was a test run to learn the so-called basics about him, but it was really his test runs to learn about me. To study me to figure out how's he's gonna deal with me. What caught it for me was both of us are allergic to seafood. I never met somebody I liked like that so I was like okay. From then on I was just talking to this Gemini man telling him everything, meanwhile, he's telling me what he thinks I need to know. I feel like he was a whole different person the first year I even gave him attention because he was just.. different so when his true colors started showing I was dead shocked. I don't know if it's because he got older and thought he was cute be it was something. Truthfully, God is going to get him for what he did anyway. Back to what I was saying, He wasn't strange at first, he was perfect. He told me a lot about him but he missed one thing, well maybe two because we could've worked the first time if he wasn't trying to be slick. It's a point in life where people change. They stop the honesty because they scared of the aftermath. The ball was rolling well, we both have daughters so I thought he understood parenting. I think he did before because there was a point in time where he was always with his kid, I used to hear her in voice notes while he played the game. Do you know? writing this makes me realize how much he really sucks. It's glad to keep reminding myself that. We talked until the ending of October because his baby mother wrote to me, some average baby mother stuff. So I blocked him and I went back to my ex and began chilling with him again. 

7 months I went without talking to him, not even a thought in my mind because I did not understand why his baby mother even had the nerve to write to me. Sweetie if that's your man discipline him. I felt like that situation had nothing to do with me, I mean I actually thought we could've had a type of vibe but when that happened I just threw all that in the garbage. I was pissed but it's like I expected to be bothered guys lie, I just wasn't surprised. My ex was toxic but of course, he always came back to do is dealing with toxic things. After a minute my ex did another toxic stunt and I ended up leaving him alone. For months, I was just alone, probably talking to guys, blocking numbers. In May I had another shoot, this shoot was different from the first one I had. Honestly, I was okay that day starting a new chapter in my business. I was just in a whole different space. I knew that the guy at the moment I was crushing on wasn't really paying me no mind, so I was just playing games with guys for fun. Then I got a DM from Gemini. "Hey, Stink." I hated him, I just felt like why are you writing to me? Your baby mother wrote to me, aren't ya together? Why bother my space? So of course I wrote back something smart like: "Hey aren't you with your bm? Why are you writing to me?" His answer was smooth, he acted as if he had no clue she even wrote to me when in reality he knows he knew. One thing about Gemini he struggled to tell the whole truth even if it was just a little bit. This time he came in my DM with a whole different perspective, it wasn't just this young man who was in love with me. He just thought he was so it, older and more mature but it's like who hides who they are that deep underneath their own skin? This time I just knew he was cap, I wasn't even about to entertain him. The difference is, he asked me for the screenshot of her in my inbox on his page. I definitely did have it too, but what was the point of showing him something he already knew she did? If she was on your phone, you were with her, long enough to either A fall asleep for her to look at your messages or you saw her in your phone I don't know but he knew.  We started our pillow talking again, the thing with Gemini is he was so good with his words. He told me he felt like I was a female that he had good chemistry with and I just disappeared. I didn't disappear I dazed and I told him that. First things first, all June all I did was converse with him, casually and I loved it, we talked about picnics and walks in the park. We also talked about our plans for the future, I didn't believe the kid at all around these times I thought he was a ghost. I never saw the young man yet, he waited so long to see me. I did ask him why he was ducking and dodging to see me, his response was: "You know when you are not old enough to drive a car? Then when you finally are you try to drive it? That's how I would explain that." You know what I could say I was flattered. He liked me for years. He may cap now, but he liked me for years. A long-time crush and at first I can honestly say I never noticed him. While he watched me go back and forth to a certain area. One thing about Gemini is.. he was very different from my other men, ex men any type that I dealt with because he was dark chocolate. Everyone was satisfied with that because they felt like the light-skinned guys weren't doing me right at all. 

So at the time, I had a best friend named Kouture. Gemini and I had arranged a day for us to see each other. That was a different move for him, I thought that the young man was going to be my internet boo for another couple of months per usual because he never shows his face. Until I learned he just doesn't show his face at all. I was nervous so I asked Kouture to come with me. Kouture was a light-skinned female with light brown eyes and black hair. We were friends for years then we became best friends and I felt like nothing to come in between us. I planned the day, and I guess all I had to do wait until I saw him. At this moment I was praying to see exactly who I was talking to. Who was I entertaining? Who was entertaining me? Who was making me smile? Who had me blushing at my phone? He just kept to himself a lot he was more of a mystery. My heart was just telling me something was different about him this time he came back around. Either he got older or he had actually come back around to be with me in person for real. Talking to him always gave me butterflies we felt some type of spark that told both of us even though, I blocked him you guys were bound to run into each other. I just wanted to know why. Truthfully most of the time it's not always for your own good, it's for the other person's good. Karma work in the most mysterious ways, and in this story I was the Karma for all females he has done wrong, every good person he has done wrong, the duties he doesn't do, the rebellious things he does, and the nasty attitude that comes with life as he grew to become a whole different person. The stemmed leaf of his life felt empty in my hands, I felt like he was perfect again, remember that because that's important. I just couldn't figure it out after a minute. I honestly didn't want to hear anything about this young man I swore up and down I knew he wasn't going to do any bad. No matter what he's been through I was going to be this nigga's peace. This is what ran through my head. I never expected any of this to happen. Well, our first meeting is the next conversation we will have. I ended up finally putting on my sweater and proceeded to drive my daughter to school.