Anatomy Of A Broken Heart Part 3: Inside The "Soul-Ties"

Chapter 4: Love Has Been M.I.A

So the ending of July finally came, it felt it was taking longer for July to end. My birthday the first of the next month. At this moment I ordered everything I needed to be stable for my birthday. I was ecstatic for one because I had everything I needed which I never had everything I wanted for my birthday. Like outfit-wise, I got my whole outfit with no problems no shipping issue, or anything.  That excited me I had my best friend and my nigga that was odd. I should've known something bad was gonna happen on my birthday because I got everything with no problem so. Well, one day I decided to curse Gemini out because listen I forgot I smoke too much weed. It was something though, probably about him going missing this was before I got used to it. I was to get so mad because I never understood why somebody wanted to be alone like that. Truthfully, I had to realize something, I have my times where I want to be to myself in my own space or just simply chilling with one of my friends or cousins. It's true, that I have my ways of moving like that, but my reasons are different from his. I just either A, I want to write, sing or I just want my space until I miss one of my loved ones. I just want everybody to know I have my ways of getting detached from society, At certain times I just want "Kat Time" including my daughter. 

Anyway, let's get back to the story because I'm stepping out of my horizon. July 28th was the last day I spoke to Gemini before he decided to disappear for a month. Now, I fake figured out the shit in my head already, then again I thought that was too simple. One thing for certain that I can say this gangsta Lil nigga is scandalous because I know for a fact he actually went missing after August 8th because that was my cousin's baby shower, and I was across the street where he was. Kouture told me where he was gonna be that day anyway. So it was funny, but I wasn't expecting him not to say happy birthday at least. I wasn't expecting sis at my door though, I just wanted a nice happy birthday message which I ain't receive so I was upset, even just "Happy birthday baby" would've been okay for me just because it shows he listens to me. Well, my birthday finally came, and I was twerking from the moment I got up. Even doing my makeup, while my daughter played on my phone and listening to "Tap in" on my loudspeaker. I had a fire glam I did myself everyone thought I got my makeup done, that's why I'm just going to do a makeup class I wanna do makeup now I get good reviews on my face I would love to do someone else's. So the day began and I decided I wanted a small house party for my birthday. I invited everybody just so everyone could feel comfortable even if they didn't get to make it. Now, I'm mad nice it's not that hard to just tell me you can't come. I kinda knew I wasn't going to see Gemini because we spoke a lot about why he couldn't come. Not because of my mother or some childish shit like that but that's not to be spoken of. I invited a lot of people and truthfully I still had birthday gifts like Patron and other liquors that made me smile, a couple of my friends came and one of my close friends, my other homegirl couldn't make it I was upset but she told me ahead of time. Regardless of the fact, I had a good birthday, but I found myself really checking all my birthday messages I didn't see Gemini it made me upset. I'm like you gotta be one heartless nigga, oh I hated this nigga the whole August just about. I mean can ya blame me, if somebody's selling you a dream and you suspect it but they try to switch it up crazy your head ain't going to bust a fuse? 

Anyway, I just wasn't surprised and I was also keeping my eye out for funny shit. You know what's funny, I think dumb is not the term for me, I would rather say gullible or naive because I knew I just didn't want to believe he was really like that. It's crazy because still, he's not the worse nigga I've experienced, like still. Crazy ain't it? I've been through so much shit with niggas, this story is the bare minimum of the bullshit I ever encountered. So, it's not a hard story to tell, well by the time my cousin's baby shower came, I was wearing a mesh light blue outfit with my Alexander McQueen sneakers. I had my honey blonde bob, and we were also having the "best-dressed cousin for the baby shower" competition that all of us made up. That day I had a couple of shots but the only thing that was on my mind is that my cousin took forever to get ready and by the time she got there we had to leave in the next 20 mintues. It was okay though, she celebrated the rest at another park, so she was fine indeed. I had to take my daughter home because it was getting late so my other cousin drove me home after. I guess I just got used to fact that I was not going to see sis no more, or maybe his phone broke or something. As every week went by, I was just chilling with Kouture, texting other niggas acting like I was really just trying to be faithful, and truthfully I was testing myself because I wanted to be faithful so he had a lot of opportunities to hurt me. I'm not going to lie after I fucked with an amount of niggas, I just stopped taking them seriously but because his intentions were supposed to be different and I trusted him too easily. I'm literally thinking about it like, what the fuck was wrong with me? He been was sneaky and you don't see him often let alone, he's very distant when he wants to be. Maybe he just didn't want me, and then I began to be okay with that. It took me like the last week in August to be okay with that. September rolled in freshly and cool and I forgot the day that I even started speaking to this nigga again so I ain't gonna put a date on it but I do know it was the day after I went outside. So bottom we started looking for him because niggas thought something happened he was missing for too long I guess. But, I decided to see if he was really missing. One night I wore all black, mind you, my hair was bright red right? so I had to put on my hoodie and I took my little sister with me to go see if we saw him. I ain't want him to see me but the funny part about this is my little swore that we walked straight past him. I believe her, but I just believe we both played dumb with it because the next day, a text was shot to me saying "Stink" and I was so mad. Only because I have a feeling that was dead him because now you decided to text me? Yeah bitch I ain't dumb. I don't know I fell mad deep with this kid I really believed this young man couldn't hurt me at all. I did trust him too much now, my very good people, I can't get into the federal, so next chapter won't be about that, it's just what happens next is a solid lesson. Regarding the dumb simp things, I do for love. Well, let me clarify this, my last time playing dumb because it's a lot of shit you got to ignore while playing dumb and what I did was let all that shit build up and burst like a bubble.