Three and Three is Six

Advice from Ghosts

Sam was in her gaming club playing gin rummy with the Hitchhiking Ghosts.

"Sam, are you ever gonna take your turn?" said Phineas Hackenbush.

"Any time this week, kiddo" said Ezra Gasser.

"Right. Sorry" Sam said taking her turn. Then she went back to staring at her cards while sulking.

"What is with her lately?" said Ezra.

"I dunno, but I don't like the thought of what it could be" said Phineas.

"Is everything okay, Sam?" said Gus.

"Fine" was all Sam answered.

The ghosts weren't really sure that Sam was fine but they kept playing.

"Gin!" said Ezra as he won the game.

"Ezra! You're cheating!" said Phineas.

"Yes! You won three times in a row! Are you peeking?" said Gus.

"Oh, quit your wining and pay up" said Ezra.

"Did you hear that, Miss Sam?" said Gus.

"Yeah. Ezra's cheating. I heard" Sam sulked.

"Are you sure you're okay, kid? Cause you've been sulking since you walked in the mausoleum" said Ezra.

"Fine. I'm gonna tell you guys what happened but you can't freak out because I'm already freaking out" Sam said.

"Oh my gosh. What happened?" said Phineas.

"Murray got aortic valve transplant last night" Sam said.

"What?!" Phones shouted.

"NO!!!" Ezra exclaimed.

"Yes" Sam said.

"What happened?" said Gus.

"Nothing happened. He's had a faulty valve since he was a kid. And now he's recovering in the hospital. I won't see Murray for weeks" Sam said.

"Well, he is recovering from surgery. But he might be doing it for you" said Gus.

"Me?" Sam said.

"Yes, you. We've seen everything. If a guy is pushing through things or doing nice things, he's doing it for a woman" said Phineas.

"I don't understand" Sam said.

"Just hear us out, kid" said Ezra. 

The ghosts then sang about what they meant.

Ezra: What's playing at the Roxy? 

I'll tell you what's playing at the Roxy

A picture about a Minnesota man so in love with a Mississippi girl

That he sacrifices everything and moves all the way to Biloxi

That's what's playing at the Roxy

Gus: What's in the Daily News?

I'll tell you what's in the Daily News

Story about a man bought his wife a ruby

With what otherwise would have been his union dues

That's what's in the Daily News?

Phineas: What's happening all over?

I'll tell you what's happening all over

Guy sitting home by a television set 

That used to be something of a rover

All three: That's what's happening all over

Love is the thing that has licked em

And it looks like Murray is another victim

Phineas: Listen, Sam.

When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky

You can bet that he's doing it for some doll

Gus: in the case of Murray, he's been in surgery

You can tell he is crazy for you as can be

Ezra: When you meet a gent paying all kinds of rent

For a flat that can flatten the Taj Mahal

All three: Call it sad, call it funny

But it's even better than money

That the guy's only doing it for some doll

Gus: When you see a Joe saving half of his dough

You can bet there'll be mink in it for some doll

Ezra: When a bum buys wine like a bum can't afford

It's a cinch that the bum 

Is under the thumb of some little broad

Phineas: When you meet a mug lately out of the jug

And he still lifting platinum folderol

All three: Call it hell, call it heaven

But it's probably twelve to seven

That the guy's only doing it for some doll

Sam: Oh. I see. 

Phineas: Yeah.

When you see a sport and his cash has run short

Make a bet that he's banking it with some doll

Gus: When a guy wears tails with the front gleaming white

Who the heck do you think he's tickling pink on Saturday night?

Ezra: When a lazy slob takes a good steady job

And he smells from vitalis and barbasol

Sam: Call it dumb call it clever

But you can get odds forever

That the guy's only doing it for some doll

All four: That the guy's only doing it for some doll

"Now I get it. Murray is staying happy in that hospital because he loves me" Sam said.

"Yup. He'd do anything to make ya proud, kiddo" said Ezra.

"Speaking of, you should go see him. He's probably asking for ya" said Phineas.

"Okay. Bye, guys" Sam said.

"We'll see ya next week" said Ezra. 

"Keep up with the program, Sam" said Gus.

"Remember, if a mortal joins us..." Phineas began.

"They make their final arrangements at the end of the tour. Bye" Sam said.

That was fun wasn't it?

Here's the song the ghosts sang

Peace and love,

Sammy