Midnight Kiss | KNJ

Chapter 6.

Namjoon

I was hurrying through the hallway to bring Jin the snacks he'd asked for me to buy last minute, nearly bumping into three people who were talking in front of the living room door.

Since I'd gotten my driver's licence only a month ago, I'd become the errand boy for whatever my roomies might need. Tonight it happened to be ten bags of chips.

"Namjoon! Finally!" Jin's voice greeted me as soon as I entered the living room. Maggie walked over to me and I handed her the bags before she rushed back to the kitchen.

"Sorry, the store was crowded, who knew so many people needed booze at eight on a Friday night," I said once I got close enough that I didn't need to yell.

"No problem, I was just introducing my sister to everyone," Jin shrugged.

"Oh, but we've already met Lily," I said while I shrugged my jacket off. 

"Well, she's actually my step-sister, Namjoon meet-"

"Sophie?" Once I looked up I couldn't stop myself before the words flew out of my mouth. 

"Hi," she replied, hiding her shock better than I was.

"You two know each other?" Jin asked, sounding as surprised as I was feeling.

"Um, yeah," I said, "We met on New Years." I couldn't force myself to look into her eyes. So I looked at my friends and found Jimin looking at me with a small smirk. Oh, shit. He'd seen me with Sophie on New Years.

Jin thankfully didn't consider my confusion a big deal and turned to Sophie, "That's it for introductions, I have to go help Maggie in the kitchen." He squeezed her shoulders and now she was the one who wouldn't meet my gaze.

I desperately needed to talk to her.

The boys went back to whatever they'd been doing before and I pleaded, "Sophie, can we talk for a second?"

She nodded, her face unreadable, and followed me into the hallway. Thankfully, the people who'd been there before left and we were alone.

---

Sophie

I followed Namjoon into the hallway, not knowing what I could even say. What do you say when you find out the guy you kissed is one of your brother's best friends?

"How?" Namjoon seemed frustrated, "How did we not figure it out?"

I just stared at him. Yes, I had imagined what I'd say to him when I saw him again. But in those scenarios, it always went down much better.

When I didn't answer he kept shaking his head and talking like he was going over every possible outcome of this situation.

"What are we going to tell them? No, we can't tell him anything. Jin can't find out about this." Namjoon kept pacing, lost in his thoughts.

With every passing second, the knot in my stomach tightened.

"You know what," Namjoon finally stopped and looked at me, "This never happened," he waved his hand in the space between us.

I bit the insides of my cheeks, trying to keep my features neutral. Like this wasn't hurting my heart. Of course, the one time I challenged myself and tried to take a step into the world would completely backfire. 

"This can only work if we forget about New Years," he went on and I guess my facade was working since he didn't notice the tears forming in my eyes.

"Why?" I asked, hoping my voice wouldn't break.

"Because I can't do this to Jin," Namjoon answered as if I'd asked him an exam question. Like this was a no-brainer.

I swallowed, "So you're saying you would have never done it in the first place if'd you known I was Jin's sister?" 

"Yes," he answered and I was amazed how one simple word could hurt.

"Okay then," I had to get away or the tears would break free, "if you think New Years was all one big mistake, then please do forget. Forget all about it and forget all about me." 

I walked past Namjoon, not willing to let my tears flow for a guy like him. I halted before the living room door, taking a deep breath. You had given him a part of yourself and he rejected it. He is not worth your tears, and he is not worth another second of your time.

Without a glance to see if he was still there I put on a smile and walked through the door.

---

I tried to enjoy the party, I really did. Jin had put so much effort into throwing it and I didn't want to leave just because of him.

I would not take it to heart, I just had to take it as a lesson in life, I kept telling myself. A lesson that said that opening up and giving yourself over to someone for one night always leads to getting rejected in the end.

Namjoon conveniently didn't appear in my sight for the rest of the night - not that I minded. It turned out that helping Maggie and Jin refill glasses and bringing out more food served as a proper distraction.

---

Namjoon

"You alright?" Hobi threw his arm around my shoulders. I had to buckle my knees because he was a bit shorter than me. 

Just being in his chilled-out presence made me feel better. Well, if better means that I'd stopped regretting my words for a brief second.

I was rational, I always thought things through, I was the team's captain for god's sake. But in that moment, it was like my mind was completely blank, only an image of Jin looking at me disappointingly. 

And when that image started getting smaller and smaller - and then completely disappeared - then I could only see one of Sophie's bright smiles on New Years, and I knew I had to end anything before it even got the chance to start. Jin was my best friend and I would not do anything to compromise that.

Hobi was still looking at me and I realised I hadn't answered him yet.

"Fine," I nodded, "Just tired."

Hobi's mouth formed a pout and he leaned on me, "But the party's only getting started, dude."

When I still seemed reluctant to move, Hobi just raised his eyebrows at me and dragged me to the sofa. 

"Pick your choice," Hobi pointed at the array of bottles on the coffee table and fell back on the sofa. 

Maybe this will help me get over the knot in my stomach, I thought and picked up a bottle of gin.

Hobi clapped excitedly and yelled, "The captain has decided to join the game!"

---

Sophie

By the time I got back to my apartment, it was too late to bother showering even though I had only had one glass of wine. 

I was drained, physically and emotionally. I never knew that rejection could hurt this bad. This whole bad experience made me wonder if my judgment was getting parred. 

I'd thought Namjoon wasn't a jerk - like most athletes - when I'd first seen him, leaning against the door. But I'd been wrong and I had no one else to blame but myself.

Just before sleep overtook me, I promised myself I was done with irrational, in-the-moment decisions. I couldn't remember why I'd decided to challenge my destiny in the first place.