i have to tell you something

chapter one

Mers pov

"And please do me a favor and page me when you have any updates, okay?" I asked the nurse and handed her the chart. She nodded and stayed next to the patients bed when I left and got a message from Hayes, asking if I would like to grab a coffee with him. It's been a very rough day so I was damn happy that he asked. Not only, but.. Yes, it was nice anyways.

"Hey, Hayes." I said as I entered the room, the same exact room where he brought me tea on our probono surgery day. "Without milk and sugar, am I right?" he asked me and handed me over the cup. "There's only a few people who know this, I'm surprised that you one of them." He smiled at me with his typically Irish smile, which I could literally die for. "I have my sources, Grey" he smiled. "You have? That's interesting." I answered. "Anyway, how is your day been going so far?" I asked him then. He looked at me, then down on the charts Infront of him then to me once again. "Good so far, let's hope that it wont change." I drank my coffee and throwed the empty cup in the trash.
We sat now together, again nobody is talking. Here and there we looked at each other, it's like we can comunitcate without words. "I should go and check on my patient. It's been a while." I said while I stood up and smile at him. He stood up too and just a few seconds later he stand Infront of me. "Sure? I mean, the nurse didn't paged you, and we could talk a bit more.." he meant shy and smiled again. My knees are soft as butter every time he's looking at me, I recognized this before. But I always denied it, thought it would just be for a while and then go away. Well, that while has been there since he's the new head of pediatric surgery at this hospital. I wasn't able to say just a word, my heart literally beated against my chest, more than usual and my mind went crazy. I'm unable to do anything. And he knows exactly what he's doing to me, I mean. Would he stare at me like he's doing now? I don't think so. "I could stay here, just until I'm getting paged." I wishpered.
Slowly he made a step towards me until we couldn't even fit a sheet of paper between us. We both knew what was about to happen and honestly I really loved the thought about it. Just a few seconds later he Caresses my cheek gently with the back of his hand, his eyes locked with mine and both of us breathing calmly. "Please don't freak out when i'm doing what I'm about to do, okay?". "Just shut up and kiss me" I answered impatiently and put one hand around his neck while the other lies on his chest and pulled him towards me. Then, Finally our lips met. It's like a big firework.. The tension of WEEKS In a long, long kiss that eventually becomes more passionate and makes me forget that we're still in the hospital. I broke the kiss briefly from shortness of breath and looked at him. "Is this okay for you?" He looked at me confused, his hands around my waist. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I really loved what just happened bit.. I'm the first time after.. You know what I'm talking about. After your wife passed away and if you don't want this, or you feel uncomfortable about this, just tell me.. I threw my first time after derek out of my house because it felt like I was cheating on him. And I don't want you to feel the same thing. So, just tell me, okay?" I said. He smiled at me, which I get as a sign that he won't kill me." Grey, do you think I'm gonna threw you out of this hospital, which is technically yours? She gave me her permission to fall in love again.. And what should I say.. I fell in love the first time I saw you, so it's completely okay what we are doing. But thank you for carrying about this whole situation. I really appreciate it.. ". Then he kissed me again, God this man is driving me CRAZY. . "Maybe we should switch rooms, don't you think?" I smiled at him and got a nod in response. We left the room, pretending nothing had ever happened, both were freaking out inside, until we found an empty on-call room. We locked the door and shortly after that we, yeah the floor was full with our Coats and the other clothes we wore.

After what previously happened we just layed in the bed, in a on-call room, while we're both on call.. We both fell asleep All this is.. It's just so.. So intoxicating. I can't even describe in words how happy I am to lay here, next to Cormac Hayes, the man I fell in love with during my recovery from covid. Well, I admit. It was long long time before the whole pandemic and the stuff what happened during this shitty time. While he's still sleeping I'm fully awake, my hands on his chest. I gently stroke his cheek and gave him a kiss on the forehead. The way I feel so safe when he's with me, he has my heart and he won't be allowed to give at back to me..
He woke up, his eyes still closed, but I bet he was awake. It was obvious. He smiled and took me tightly in his arms. "I'm going to say something now and, I hope this is not too early for you to say that. But .. I feel good with you, here, in your arms, hayes. And, I think. I .. Am. maybe. In love. With you. I. Am. In love with you, and I'm hell glad that I am ready to admit that. So, don't you dare to die in a car crash or something like this. I mean it. " He laughed at me, took my face in his hands and kissed me. Soft, but passionate." I promise, Grey."