The Racing Blood

K.J.'s Pain

     K.J. jerked awake, sweat pouring off of his body. He shook the nightmare of the wreck from his memory and looked around his room. His parents both slept curled up in a ball on the bed beside him. K.J. carefully sat up, a sharp pain in his chest as he moved. Holy fuck! That was painful... Ribs.

     He looked at the table beside him, on which his race helmet sat. He picked it up and stared at the Troy Lee Designs helmet, custom designed for K.J. He saw deep scratches in the paint where his helmet had been thrown on the ground. He carefully ran his fingers over the scratches, and he felt his heart rise into his throat. He couldn't remember anything but the side of Eric's car coming at his car fast. He knew he was going to hit him, but K.J. couldn't remember it.

     He had begged his father to tell him what happened after K.J. was knocked unconscious, but Kasey couldn't do it. He had told his son that it was too soon to give him all of the details. K.J. wanted to call Eric's father and mother and apologize, but his parents told him to wait. He was basically being told to forget that it happened, and he knew that he would never forget. He blamed himself for the death of another driver, a young driver. He had ruined a life. A career.

     K.J. threw the helmet back on the table, the crash waking up Kasey and Amira. They both looked at K.J., who pulled his knees up to his chest and put his head on his knees. "K.J.?" whispered Amira softly.

     "I killed Eric. I killed that man," said K.J., his voice muffled by his knees. He kept repeating that statement. It was all his mind was consumed with.

     Kasey stood up and walked over to his son, putting his hand on his arm. "Look at me, K.J.," said Kasey. K.J. looked up into his father's blue eyes, the mirror image of his own. Tears filled the young boy's blue eyes. "You DID NOT kill Eric Roop. Kasey, you did not kill him. You had no control over that car."

     "Dad, I crashed into his driver side door. I did that! My car killed him," said K.J. "I don't even know how, but I know I killed him." His face was full of exasperation and pain.

     Kasey sat down on the foot of K.J.'s bed and looked at his own feet. "Kasey... I don't know what you want me to say."

     K.J.'s voice was quick to respond. "Tell me how I killed him."

     "K.J., you don't-"

     "TELL ME!"

     The room fell silent. Amira stared at her two men, wishing she could fix K.J.'s heartache and pain. Kasey looked at his son, his face looking defeated. "Okay, K.J. I'll tell you, as much as I don't want to. As much as you don't need to know." K.J. looked directly into Kasey's eyes. "When you hit Eric's car, you basically drove up the side of it. It ripped the roof of, and we think your trackbar pierced his chest. He died instantly."

     K.J.'s eyes grew wide in horror. His mind filled with the image of his trackbar piercing through Eric's chest. He doubled over in the bed and let out a blood-curdling sob. Kasey and Amira both grabbed him and held him, sobbing. He continued to mumble through his sobs. "I killed you. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to." His parents held the young boy as he sobbed the night away. The memory haunting his mind.