do-over

xxviii ; selfish

"Why can't I come?!" My voice was rising the more he refused me.

"You need to sleep! You haven't gotten a full nights rest in like three days!"

"I can help!"

"You need to go bed! You're not thinking right and you really just need rest!"

"I don't want to feel like a burden! Let me help you!" I threw my hands down beside my sides, fists clenched.

"No! Jax! Go to bed!" His voice had raised to join mine now, also yelling, which made me flinch back in surprise. Had he ever yelled at me..? "Oh god..." he quickly came up and grabbed my arms. "Jax..."

I blinked. "I... need to.. take a breather."

"Jax-"

I held a hand out to stop him. "Don't. I know.. you didn't mean to. I just... it was too weird for you to be yelling at me. It's.. like my parents all over again..."

"Are you okay?" He held my chin but I stepped back.

"I'm... fine. Just go. And come back soon. I just need time to.. recover. But if you don't come back as soon as possible I'm going to get seriously upset. Even more upset than I am now."

"Are you going to be okay while I'm gone?" He wasn't making contact with me anymore besides eyes. "Get some sleep..." He seemed on edge, making me uncomfortable. Was he disappointed or something? No... it seemed like he was more upset..?

Could he be annoyed?!

I had put him through a lot of shit and we were both tired from the flight back so there was a chance..

Could he leave me for that??

Had I been annoying him for a while??

Probably...

I was high maintenance...

The click of the front door shook me from my thoughts and I sat weakly on the bed.

"He's just tired... He'll be fine later.." I told myself, fidgeting with my fingers. "He probably is annoyed... I haven't been working and I've been super dependent on him.. What happened to me being independent..?" And I did miss working...

I stood, pulling the jacket I was wearing up over my head and heading for the closet. I needed to reenergise myself.

I changed into one of my favorite outfits and decided to do light makeup as well. Though I wasn't sure if I should do much mascara considering I was blessed with long dark eyelashes. If there was anything to have faith in.. it was my eyelashes. A lot of girls in the orphanage liked to gush about my eyelashes...

Once I completely finished getting ready I grabbed my phone and keys and headed out of the apartment and down the street for the tattoo parlor.

*****

"Good work today! I'm gonna put you back on the schedule for regular shifts, okay?" Lacey, Sidero and I were all sitting in the back room. I nodded in response and she turned her gaze to Sid. "You've been quiet."

"I'm going through it, g," he shook his head, making me laugh softly. "There are times in life. Happens to the best of us."

"You had forced rehab didn't you," Lacey crossed her arms and he threw his head back with a cry, making me burst out laughing.

"My family just can't stay out of my drug habits! Y'all I'm vibing! Leave me aloneee," he fake cried while I snickered and Lacey just shook her head while holding back a smile.