A Girl of Many Sharts

Aidan to the Rescue

    Once upon a time, as I was sitting on the toilet, i heard a huge crash.  i looked outside the window. that was quite the sound !! No way it was my shart heard through the world! i was relieved that i was already on the toilet, but then how did my shart get outside ? i pulled up my leggies to go investigate and realized the window had broken, Slid on my green ugg boots, and skipped to I dashed out of the house and got to the site of the strange noise . I SAW A massive jar of piss and sweaty poops, which smelled like milk tea with boba, coincidentally my favorite drink. I wondered what I had ate earlier that day, and remembered the boba today had tasted... funky. i remembered the boba balls had the weirdest softest texture and strange pungent flavor, uncharacteristic of the typical tapioca orbs. then... someone came out of the bushes...

    ...It was Aidan Gallagher! I was so happy , I jumped up and down for joy to only find out i had broken my leg! my leggies split down the middle and my cooter was out, lips and everything, so I panicked and ripped Aidans fanny pack off to cover myself up (I'm a very modest and conservative gal.) Aidan blushed, a rosy red color filling up his cheeks just like how he would fill up my... never mind. I chuckled lightly, covering my humongous gigantic fat juicy gorilla grip couchie. "Aidan, why are you here?" I giggled...

    Aidan responded, whispering in a low voice.."i wanted to tell you that your shart was beautiful and sumptuous. but i have one question to ask ......are they for sale? I would love to get my own copy, but...I wasn't sure if you would even be willing to put a price on them...." I had never been so offended in my life. I couldn't imagine that Aidan would ask to buy my shart. Yes, I've sold him my pee and my puthy juice. But it doesn't mean he can ask for my shart too! I shot up in indignation, waggling my finger at him while I delicately covered my perfect coochie. 

    "Nuh uh Aidie, that's off limits!" His eyebrows furrowed in anger and he stepped closer to me. 

    "Y/n, if you don't let me have your shart...im going to have to take you out on a date." 

    my face flushed a deep tomato red and i stammered, "guess i won't let you have my shart then." i grinned seductively, but all of a sudden, i felt a massive shart coming! Luckily, I had surgically attached a flap to button up my hole a few months ago, so I quickly contained the explosion and ran away before Aidan could steal it out from inside of me. 

    I ran as fast as I could into the nearest Applebee's, and suddenly  I ran into Jacob Elordi! This is so embarrassing... I quickly tried to hide my face but, to no avail. He had caught my eye and a sneaky glint told me he was about to slink over to me. Also he was shirtless because he's so sexy. He came over and whispered,  but just before, i squealed and adjusted the fanny pack to cover up the cooch. the straps held onto my hips, and jacob stared at me. 

    "what're you hiding down there?" he winks, and i am about to respond when aidan breaks down the applebees door and storms in! I am filled with dread.. Nothing good could possibly come out of these two hunks clashing, so I pulled Aidan's ziplining line and belay out and hooked Jacob by the carotid artery, zooming away with him before Aidan could disturb the AppleBee's.