A Girl of Many Sharts

A Ravishing Stranger

    "Um, who are you?" I giggled shyly and batted my eyelashes.

    "I'm Jean. Jean Jacques. And you're coming with me." He tried to swipe a kiss from me but i pushed him away.

    "Why would I want to come with you??" I asked.

    "because," he said, "i've got tons of gifts waiting for you, babey ~~" i squealed in excitement and ..jumped into the car with him.

    "So what types of gifts do you have for me?" I asked, squirming excitedly.

    "Many gifts, but if I told you now, it wouldn't be a surprise would it?" Jean Jacques winked. "You know, I did you a favor," he added. "That dude was trying to kidnap you. So I saved you."

    "Wow..." I was in shock at the sheer kindness looking back at me. "You're right, I should wait a few days...thank you so much, truly," I cried. In the car ride back to his building, he began asking me some questions, and we exchanged pleasant conversation.

    "How old are you?" he asked, sneaking me a smile as he drove.

    I grinned back. "17."

    He broke into tears. "You look like you're 6...." he mumbled. I was shocked. I opened my mouth to say something, but something else caught my eye. i saw the most beautiful mansion, with perfectly trimmed bushes and a stone fountain. i gasped in delight and smiled at my dear jean jacquet.

    "is this your house?" I asked. There was no response from Jean Jacket for a few seconds, as he sniffled and slowly got over the realization that I wasn't a toddler.

    "Yes, it's one of my houses," he said. "And if you're good, maybe it'll be your house soon." He winked at me. "This property has 30 bedrooms, 50 bathrooms that are well equipped to support any and all sharts, and much more," he explained, stopping the car in the driveway of the mansion.

    "You can go ahead and explore around," he said. "Just don't open any trapdoors or closets - there may be some dead bodies around."

    I opened the car's doors and ran eagerly up the front steps to be greeted by a distinguished looking rat, about 7' tall. I couldn't help but notice that he looked ravishing...

    He cheekily winked at me before opening the door, saying in his deep rat voice, "M'Sharty". My heart fluttered as I walked through the grand door, with Jean Jacquet behind me.

    "Like what you see?" he growled. I gasped and turned around and saw jean jacquet with his chest puffed, proudly smiling at his grand estate. "I'd let you pick out a room," he said, "but i made a special suite just for you.. and me."

    "For both of us?" I asked, mortified. Even for me, it felt like we were rushing into things a little. After all, I'd only just met him the same day.

    "Yes, of course," said Jean, grinning. His teeth were stained yellow and one of his front teeth was gold. I shuddered. "What did you think we would be doing?" Jean winked at me. I wanted to cry, but instead I wrapped my arms around him, like a lover would.

    "Mind showing me our special suite then?" I screamed in his ear. He slithered one of his many slimy arms around my bulging waist and escorted me through the halls of the house. I was feeling so many emotions, I began to cry. Suddenly, I felt a warm wetness on my face - Jean was licking my tears right off my cheeks!

    "Omg Jean, you're too cute ahah" I yelled in ecstasy. Finally, we reached the suite. Jean opened the grand doors to reveal a jungle themed room. at first, i thought my eyes deceived me. on the ceilings were stringy green vines, the floor made of actual dirt, and the worst of all—- there were real monkeys swinging around the brazil-nut trees. "how do ya like it, my love?" he asked me, spit flying from his mouth onto my ear. 

    "it's... great!" I shrieked. In reality, I hated it so much. I had always had a great feat of monkeys, yet here I was, surrounded by them. My legs started to shake and i mustered a teary grin. 

    "Well, that's good to hear, since we'll be spending a lot of time in here..." he winked again. 

    "Uh where's the bed though?" I asked. 

    "Oh, there are no beds In my house. I think it's better to sleep on the floor," Jean exclaimed.  I grimaced. No bed..? A multimillionaire, and no beds? Whatever. I respected Jean Jacket. 

    Jean extended one of his many arms to me and said "M'Sharty, would you like to sup with me?" I gasped in shock. Never in my life had I sat down and eaten a meal with someone other than myself. I nodded excitedly and took his hand. We galloped into the gold-themed dining room, and to my shock i saw a gold table laden with what looked like the most delicious dish ever. 

    "What is THAT?" I gasped. Jean's sweaty hand clutched my waist and he pulled me closer. 

    "That, my dear, is a stew of beans, leafy greens, chia seeds, and aloe vera with a broth of coconut water! I heard from a lil birdy that you love to shart... so I got my chefs to cook you the best laxative stew possible!" I smiled up at Jean. I'd never gotten such a meaningful gift!  I couldn't wait to start digging in. Before I knew it, I was already gulping the stew down, shoveling it into my mouth with my delicately manicured hands. I had just gotten my fingernails freshly painted, and the iridescent shine of the midnight blue glitter dust sparkled in the damp yellow light of the room. Suddenly, I saw Jean approaching me from the other end of the table, his hands fumbling with his shirt buttons. I started as I realized what he was about to do. I shot a glance at the servant stationed by the door, and realized she was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes upon. As Jean drew closer to me, only half-clothed at this point, I made up my mind. I took a deep breath and barreled towards the exit, grabbing the servant's arm as I ran past her and burst out into the openness of the rest of the mansion. 

    "You are so beautiful," I panted out to the servant, because I was incredibly out of shape. "Let's run away."