Apathetic

Chapter 17

My fingers trailed along the middle of her back, feeling along where her spine was. She was sleeping, her arm wrapped around my waist and her warm cheek just below my collarbone. I could feel her breath on my skin while I ran my fingers along her back.

I couldn't believe it was real. I was lying here, naked with a sheet draped over us, and I had just made love for the first time in my life. It was different from everything else I had ever done. It was...closer than anything I had done. One of the most terrifying things of course, being that close to someone, but still one of the most wonderful things.

She shifted, turning her head before drifting back to sleep. I just smiled and tucked strands of hair behind her ear and allowed my thumb to run down her cheek softly. She was beautiful. She had this freckle on her right shoulder blade; my fingers seemed to find it automatically.

I closed my eyes and felt myself start to slip away into sleep.

Love.

What a crazy idea.

What a brilliant idea.

Love.

I was in love with Lisa.

My entire world was turned upside down now.

And I couldn't be happier.

"Jen?" Lisa mumbled, pulling me from my sleep.

"Hmm?" I asked, cracking my eyes open. She was still draped over me, but those doe eyes were open and looking up at me.

"Did you mean it?" She looked scared. I knew that feeling.

I smiled a little, rubbed her back, and kissed her forehead. "Yes." I whispered. "Oh God, yes. That's the only way I can describe what I'm feeling. When I'm with you...I feel different. I didn't know this is what it would be like. It's...strange."

"Good strange?"

"Very good. Scary, but good."

"I'm glad." She rested her head back on me and closed her eyes. "We need to go to school."

"I guess." I mumbled. "I left my clothes back at my place."

She held herself up over me and lowered her lips to mine, kissing me softly. "So, you love me?"

I chuckled raised myself to my elbows and kissed her. "I love you." I kissed her again. "I love you." And this time, I deepened the kiss slightly and thread my fingers through her hair, pulling her into me. I moved back just enough to whisper, "I love you." Our lips brushed together when I spoke.

I could feel her lips turn up into a smile. "Say it again?"

"I thought you said you didn't need to hear it?" I said, rolling over so I was on top of her.

"I don't need to, but I want to. I like hearing it." She blushed and looked away from me.

I turned her face back to mine and whispered, "I love you." Pulling her leg up to hook at my hip. "I love you." I whispered again, moving my lips to her ear. "I love you." I said as I kissed her neck. "I love you." I could feel the smooth sheets move between us. "I love you." I kissed along her collarbone. "Want to hear it again?" I asked, a smirk toying at my lips.

She smiled slightly. "One more time?"

"We're going to be late to school." I said chuckling, pushing the sheet off the bed while I said, "I love you." Not for the last time in the next few hours.

Once again, damp with sweat, I lay there with this crazy, insane, beautiful, amazing girl.

"We're definitely late for school." She said, chuckling quietly.