Not Now (Sequel to Man Overboard) *On Hold*

9. Shit, Fuck, I Made a Mistake

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. I raised my head from the pillow and squinted my eyes from the sunlight filtering in through the room's window shades. My cellphone vibrated on the dresser next to me, the cause for my awake.

The noise hadn't seemed to have bothered the man sleeping next to me, though he had moved slightly from the sound. His arm tightened around my waist, attempting to pull me closer to his chest. He hummed sleepily as his face snuggled closer into the crook of my neck.

Fuck. This had been a terrible idea. What if he thought I was Jen in his unconscious state?

I stretched out from underneath Tom's arm and grabbed my phone. One missed call from Anne.

Double fuck.

She had to be calling to see why I hadn't come home last night. And she knew I had been with Tom. But it was for a grandfather's birthday celebration. Surely she couldn't be that concerned. Although maybe she had a right to be, given how I had fallen asleep, or rather whom I had fallen asleep with.

I set the phone back down on the nightstand and slid out from Tom's arm completely in order to climb out of bed.

Boomer, who had been sleeping comfortably on the carpeted floor last night, now lay in Shon's old bed. He must have jumped up there some point after I had moved to Tom's bed. His eyes opened and ears perked up from my movement.

I glanced back at Tom to make sure my leaving the bed hadn't disturbed him. His eyes were still closed, and his breathing was slow and steady. A drop of drool hung at the corner of his open mouth, reminding me of the "Man Overboard" music video. The song had broken my heart, but I watched the video whenever it played on MTV. It was funny, and as much as I hated to admit it, Tom looked really good in it, with his hair clinging to his forehead with sweat. I still wasn't used to the long hair. As I looked at it now, I fought the urge to brush his bangs out of his face.

Get a grip, Willow.

I picked my dress up from the floor, where I had left it last night after changing into Tom's clothes. It was a little wrinkled, but it would have to be alright. Even though Tom was sleeping and I still wore a bra, I turned my back toward him as an added precaution while I changed. I took off his Princess Leia T-shirt and slipped the dress on over my head. I pulled the skirt of it down before wriggling out of Tom's high school shorts.

I turned behind me to check on Tom. Still asleep. I sat on Shon's bed and scratched behind Boomer's ear.

"Do you need to go out, bud?" I whispered to the dog. Boomer lifted his head expectantly. I smiled, missing the days when I would walk him first thing in the morning. As I stood up, Tom stirred in his bed and opened his right eye.

"Morning," he murmured. His lips quirked up in a faint smile. Fuck, that made things so much worse. Maybe he was still half asleep and had yet to process the implications of everything.

"Hey," I replied softly. Tom stretched his arms above his head, and I couldn't stop the next words that came out of my mouth. "Last night was a mistake."

Shit. I hadn't meant to say that aloud. I was overreacting again, like I had with his clothes last night and like I had when I'd read too much into his actions before. I knew that Tom only wanted to be my friend. He had made that clear the night I had kissed him again, the time he had visited me at Mark's house, and in nearly every interaction we'd had since.

Tom stat up in bed, both his eyes now wide open.

"Uh, yeah?" he said, but it sounded more like a question, like he was confirming that was the response I wanted to hear. But that had to be in my head. He must have regretted it just as much as I did. He was the one in a relationship. He just thought it was obvious that last night was a mistake.