Hate Mountain

Programme 1: Vladimir; Episode 4: exe.RRRIMIDALV.exe >:)

Exciting adventure music plays backwards distorted and demonic.

VII

Hate Mountain stood wickedly against a disconcerting black sky, vultures swarmmed around the pinnicle of the rocky peak like sharks around a dying fish. Dark, murky, black water in a waterfall poured down a hideous rock face resembling a fish skull. On top of this evil and spooky scene, stood a lurid castle. In the depths of this castle, Evil Lord 'Evil was brooding evilly on his throne of skulls. He was gaurded by two hooded monks, who had swords made of pure platinum. There were no windows in the castle for no reason. The only light was from poorly-lit candles. They used to have electricty, but then taxes were raised. 'Evil then issued a command.

"Bring me my laptop," he growled in a spooky death metal voice.

So one of his guards brought it to him.

He looked at the spooky screen.

E'vil Kish-Nare-Member since August 2008-0 Flirts.

eHarmony yielded nothing.

Next: myDate

evilkishnare@gmail.com-Member since April 2005-0 Flirts

Nothing. Time to roll out the emergency account.

ChristianMingle

Kish-Nare2066-000,000 flirts.

FarmersOnly.

Worth a shot.

imalegitfarmer667@sharkslasersucks.ps1-Negitive 12 flirts.

He scoffed and brushed the lack of intrest aside. He decided to check on YouTube to see how his video was going.

How To Play The Mozart Violin-YouTubeSucksTheyDontHaveTheNameIWant16-2 views.

A comment!

I tryed this and I jammed the stick thing in my eye. YOU SUCK!-Thunderboltsvideos.

Évil decided here and now that he hated the internet. It was only good for cat videos and wasting time. Time that he did not have in the first place. He slid the the Dell laptop under his gruesome throne. When he looked up he saw that a Kish-naw was in his palace. His first thought was to run, but he saw the "H" branded on the forehead and remembered that this was one of the Hate "Hukish".

"So, I take it that the experiment was successive, then."

The hellish monster nodded, in a way that only a human could.

"So the spinal fusing procedure worked?"

Another nod.

"Since you have come to me, you must be the Oberste."

Another nod.

E'vil kept staring at it.

"It hurts, nonne?"

It nodded excitedly.

"Where?"

It pointed a sharp, clawed finger at its bald, onion like head.

"Ah. that would be all the physical pain of a brain transplant hitting you all at once; it shall fade away."

The Hukish still stared at him as though it still did not know what to do. It looked into E'vil's crimson eyes, as though it were asking permission to leave. With a gentle wave of the hand, the Dark Lord of Darkness and Spookyness dismissed it.

E'vil settled back into his throne. Being a Dark Lord sucked. It was as boring as crap. Nothing to do except sit in an uncomfortable chair all day long and listen to the thunder rumble every so often. If he had one of them Microsoft DS things, then maybe his life would be a little more barable. Or maybe a nice leather copy of Pride And Prejustice would be nice. One with white pages, and black ink, and golden edges, and soft red leather, and some hand drawn pictures, yes that would be nice. He remembered, that as child, he always wanted to be the Dark Lord. It seemed like so much fun. Killing people, burning towns, sending dragons to eat people. He found out that all of those things cost money. And paperwork. He hated paperwork; it reminded him of being in school and having to do his science fair project with the kid who had obviously never worked in his life before. He wondered what was on the telescreen; but then he remembered that they had just thrown it away becaue he read in OK! magazine that they made worms grow in your eyeballs.

VIII

Vladimir woke up again, with a vile taste in his mouth. He loved the morning flavour in his mouth. He did not know what it was, but he liked it. It reminded him of the peanut butter and goldfish sandwhichs he made back home. He sat up, carefull not to hit his head on the roof. He assumed that he had been in jail for at least three days now, and he loved it. They gave him meat that he had never eaten before, he could sleep for hours on end without anyone yelling at him, he had plenty of time think, and had a ton of entertainment, his fancy watch glew in the dark; he loved to watch it circle around for hours on end; however, he could only see the hour and minute hand, the second, day, month, date, moon phase, and starchart being obscured. He closed his eyes once more and rested a little longer. Then, he was violently awoken by a bright light shining in on him. It was the jailer.

"Alright kid, it's be'n a year, yer free!"

"What!?!? but I've only been here a three days at the most!"

"No, you've been here a year now."

Vladimir was shocked: but he felt that he had now a beard adorning his face and his hair was now touching his shoulders. They led him outside, and set him loose. He looked in a nearby polluted stream. Sure enough, he had facal hair. He looked at his watch: the year metre was year foreword. He had spent a year in jail, but he did not know it. His mom was going to be VERY angry now. He decided that getting home was now the most important thing now. He had forgoten from which direction he had come from, so he picked west and started walking. He walked for hours and hours and hours. The sun soon started setting and he decided to rest under a full bloomed tree. He leaned back, and closed his eyes. Then, for some reason, he opened them. He screamed, he was looking straight into the liquid eyes of some monster. It grabbed him and carried him away. When he woke up, he was in a plain white room. He tried to move, but found that he could not. He looked down. He was in some horrible chair, with metal chains holding him in place. He looked to his left: the Cherry-Men were hovering over a control panel. One of them pressed a button, and Vladimir heard a whirrling noise, he looked up to see two razore sharp, silver blades descending to his skull.

Next Episode: 19 Days Before March 1st