* TRIGGER WARNING* Self harm is mentioned
She wore her scars with pride, to show that she made it through. Made it through anything the world threw at her, shoving it to the side and stepping up to the plate. She wasn't afraid to live how she wanted. She was able to just groove through life with nothing getting in her way.
She lived with confidence in her steps, bouncing along the way. Listening to everything before her. Taking it all in... Yet it once just stopped. It all just disappeared for her. Without a trace.
Yet she still feels pain, the emotional pain of not being accepted. Accepted for who they are not for who people think she is. They all think she is a survivor. When she landed herself in the hospital, standing on the edge of life and death. They believe she's never been without a home. Even when she's been on the streets for who she is.
She was on the streets before someone came looking for her. She's been proved multiple times that no one would go looking for her even if she goes looking for them. She tries to be outgoing and confident, but it hurts. She feels numb but in pain.
Feels as though she doesn't belong but tries to belong. She feels the forever buzz of the numbing pain sensation that zips through her multiple times a day. The pain reminds her of stories her parents used to tell her all the time. About the boy who died before his time, lived before he was alive. He was numb yet alive.
That is how she felt. Yet she wasn't born in the "wrong" timeline. She was where she was supposed to be, right how she was supposed to live. Yet it doesn't feel like it. It normally feels like something inside you is burning and yearning for something you can't have. A burning sensation following and seeping through you over and over, taking you down with little force. She goes with it. Falling.
Everyone has been locked inside away from people, real people for so long. She stares at her screen hoping to be with someone soon, yet all she feels is the numbness seeping through her like water through the city. Flooding through everything. Emotions everywhere. She can't control how she feels and it hurts others because of that. But now she is safe.
All she wanted was to be in her arms, surrounded by warmth. Hearing her voice and listening to that story. The story of the Boy in a Blue Gown, maybe this is her own story. Wearing a purple gown, someday she'll walk down the walkway. Surrounded by people who love her for her and say a thanks to everyone who helped.
Some day.
