where do we go now? | pjm + jjk |

Episode 2 - First Love

"Is this thing on?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it- oh-! Yep, it's definitely recording [laughter]"

"[chuckling] Very well then, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and I just want you to answer them as truthfully as you can, Jimin. If you ever want to skip a question because you do not feel comfortable enough to answer, please let me know."

"Alright, that sounds perfect Joon- er..Doctor Kim."

"[sigh]...[silence followed by pages flipping over] Ah, alright, let's see. Jimin, what were the first thoughts that ran through your head when you first saw Jungkook from afar?"

"Oh...[soft laughter] Well, he was a quiet boy. I thought I wasn't one to speak a lot in public but he was just— on a whole other level. Yet something about him seemed so..calming? I don't really know how to explain it. He had these eyes to him that were so doe-like and comforting, it was as if they held entire galaxies inside of them whenever they sparkled as he smiled. Such a gentle boy he was. So gentle, so..fragile...[silence]"

"[Clearing throat] Interesting, so you felt a sort of warm aura around him?"

"Mm, you could say so, yes."

"I see. Did you ever think you were going to grow attached to him when you first started talking or—"

"No. Oh god no [giggling followed by a sharp exhale] What I had in mind was that he was going to be another regular high school friend who would help me to feel a little less lonely in such a big, almost adult world already. I was planning on facing the big world alone but then I realized..we were both as stupid as each other and we brought out the kids in ourselves again everyday. Laughing, shoving, talking endlessly. But not once did I think he was going to become the other half to me. Not once. The very thought of connecting with someone scared me, actually."

"Hmm...why were you scared of connecting with other people?"

"Oh- Well..I never really had many friends,  and the past few experiences that I did have with people I could consider to be friends, didn't end very well. But- [nervous laughter] that doesn't really matter to me, those friendships were doomed from the beginning anyway, and they were short lived. Gguk though..he was special."

"[mumbling overlapping with writing] Alright. May I ask what happened to part you from Jungk-"

"No. I do not feel comfortable answering that question."

"Oh- er...very well then, that's okay. We're almost done here, Jimin. Can I ask about the events that took place in the aftermath of everything?"

"Ahh [slight scoffing with a small laugh] It's all blur, really. I had Gguk with me and the next thing I knew was that the entire world was against me. It helped me grow stronger I think, but...it really hurt if I'm honest. I have to confess that even nowadays I uh— tend to get nervous when I have to meet new people. In the back of my mind I'm constantly thinking. "Wow. They hate me already, don't they? I wonder what rumors they've heard." It's..tiring to unwillingly have to think this everyday but...it at least lets me know Gguk will always have people out there ready to protect him, just as much as I tried to. [quiet hum]"

"Wow..It's so interesting seeing you still— care so much for this boy who doesn't even really want to see you anymore. What would you consider Jungkook to be?"

"Oh? Jungkook..? Jungkook was..

Jungkook was my first love."

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