I Give You Love, You Give Me Pain

H - How many punches does it take to draw blood?

"You stupid bitch! Why can't you do anything right?!", yells my boyfriend as he beats me. Just as he does every other day.

It's the same routine. Wake up, go to school, get ignored, go home, get a beating. And on the chances I get to leave the house and "play around" as Rain likes to say, I come home just to get an even worse beating for even looking in the direction of another guy. Honestly it's better to just stay in the house but I need some bit of freedom or else I might just lose my mind. So I suck it up and take it. Every punch, every kick, every harsh word, everything. Because although I want freedom, I also love him.

I know I shouldn't. It's not good for me and I should leave before he really does kill me, but I have no one else. My parents abandoned me for not doing what they wanted and instead "choosing" to like guys.  My friends don't talk or even look at me for fear of what others will think of them hanging out with the kid who's own parents don't love him. Except Rain. Only he has stuck with me, even though sometimes I wish he would have left me too. But I know he's just rough around the edges, a caring soul hiding somewhere inside. It just takes time to find it.

So that's what I plan to do. Stick with him, just as he did for me, and find the softer side of him. I just have to take the harsh outside before I can reach the inside.